by Father Seraphim Johnson (+2009)
We all know that in Baptism God
graciously forgives all the sins we have ever committed up until that time. But
what happens when we sin again after Baptism? We cannot, in fact, be baptized
again, so are we condemned to stay in our sin forever? Or has the Lord made
some provision for us to renew our Baptism and to cleanse ourselves anew from
our sins? When our Lord Jesus Christ washed His disciples’ feet at the Last
Supper, He showed us that there is a way to be cleansed from our sins after
Baptism. Let us review this event from the Gospel of Saint John:
Jesus knew that
the Father had put all things under His power, and that He had come from God
and was returning to God; so He got up from the meal, took off His outer
clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. After that, He poured water
into a basin and began to wash His disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel
that was wrapped around Him.
He came to Simon
Peter, who said to Him, “Lord, art Thou going to wash my feet?”
Jesus replied,
“Thou dost not realize now what I am doing, but later thou wilt understand.”
"No,” said
Peter, “Thou shalt never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered,
“Unless I wash thee, thou hast no part with Me.”
“Then, Lord,”
Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
Jesus answered,
“A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is
clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” For He knew who was
going to betray Him, and that was why He said not every one was clean.
(John 13:3-11)
Now, let us notice several things
in this passage. First, this event took place right before the disciples
received Holy Communion for the first time. They were purified by this washing before
they received the Holy Mysteries of the Body and Blood of the Lord. When Saint
Peter objected to the Lord’s washing his feet, the Lord said that if He did not
wash Saint Peter’s feet, then Saint Peter would have no part in Him and His
kingdom. That is, Saint Peter would not be able to receive the Lord’s Body and Blood
and share in the new life. When Saint Peter heard this, he impulsively asked
the Lord to wash all of him, not just his feet. But the Lord reminded him that
he had already been washed—he had received Holy Baptism, which had cleansed his
whole body. What Saint Peter needed now was to have his feet washed.
The feet are the part of the body
which comes into contact with the world: as you walk around, especially if you
are barefoot or in sandals, as the Lord and the disciples were, your feet get very
dirty. The rest of you might stay clean after a bath, but you couldn’t walk
anywhere without getting your feet all dusty and grimy. And that is how it is
for us too: after being washed clean in Baptism, we still have to walk around
in this fallen world, and when we do so, our spiritual feet get dirty. We
cannot be baptized again, but before we can come to Holy Communion and share in
the Lord’s Body and Blood, we need to be cleaned again. The means by which we
are cleaned is Confession of our sins, which spiritually corresponds to the
Washing of the Feet in this Gospel. In his commentary on this passage Blessed
Theophylact says, “Thus through confession we can wash ourselves to commune worthily
of the supper, and not eat and drink condemnation to ourselves.” [1]
Saint Cosmas of Aitolia, the great
missionary of Greece and Albania in the eighteenth century, explains Confession
quite clearly when he says: “We too should keep our Baptism as pure and
immaculate as possible. If by chance we err, as human beings, may the gracious
God be glorified, He Who has granted us a second Baptism, holy Confession,
because it is impossible for a person to be saved who hasn’t been baptized and
one who is unconfessed.” [2] Saint Cosmas also tells us: “The man who is unconfessed
is similar to one who is unbaptized and is unable to be saved… If he has not
confessed, let him commune as many times as he will, it does not help at all,
but rather causes harm, since he communes unworthily, and woe to him… First we should
wash and cleanse our vessel, and then place the most precious Thing inside.” [3]
The Origin of
Confession
When the Lord appeared to His
Apostles after His resurrection from the dead, He established the Mystery of
Holy Confession. He breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you
forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they
are not forgiven” (John 20:22-23). In these words He granted His Apostles the
power, through the working of the Holy Spirit, to release men from their sins,
and also to bind them in their sins. The Church has used this power ever since.
Initially, the bishops, as the direct successors of the Apostles, were the only
ones to exercise it, but by the second century they allowed priests to act as
their representatives in forgiving sins. The Mystery has two parts: the person
who is repenting confesses his sins orally to a priest or bishop, and then, if
he seems to have a true desire to stop sinning, the clergyman reads a prayer
for God to forgive the sins confessed. After this prayer, the sins are
forgiven, as if they had never been committed.
In the second and third
centuries, the confession of sins was often done publicly, in front of the
whole congregation, at least when major sins were being confessed—apostasy,
betrayal of fellow Christians, heresy, and sins which were already public knowledge,
like adultery. For such sins, a long period of special discipline and testing
was necessary before a person could be readmitted to Holy Communion. In many
ways this period paralleled the preparation for Baptism, and the person who had
confessed a major sin was treated much like one coming for Baptism. He had to
pass through a series of stages, including: (1) mourner—he stood outside
the church and asked the forgiveness and prayers of the Christians going
inside; (2) listener—he stood with the catechumens in the narthex of the
church and listened to the first part of the Liturgy, through the Scriptures and
sermon, but left before the Eucharist itself; (3) kneeler—he stood in
the back of the church, knelt for special prayers and a blessing from the
bishop, but left before Holy Communion; (4) stander—he stood with the
faithful, but was not admitted to Holy Communion. During all this time, the
penitent was given a special rule of extra prayer and fasting; and if he was
willing to fast even more, the time he was excluded from Holy Communion might
be reduced. In the case of particularly serious sins, the person might be cut
off from Holy Communion for many years, or even until he was dying.
Public confession and the long
periods of special discipline and testing began to be relaxed in the third
century, starting in Africa, and gradually the Mystery of Confession became
more as we know it today. [4] When we look at our own sins, we need to remember
how seriously they were treated in the early Church, and we should think about
how long we would have been cut off from Holy Communion had we lived then as we
do now.
Who Needs
Confession?
There is no one alive who does
not sin. Saint Paul says, “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God”
(Rom. 3:23). The Holy Apostle Saint John reminds us: “If we claim to be without
sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins,
He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar
and His word has no place in our lives” (I John 1:8-10). In fact, everyone sins
“continually,” as Saint Symeon of Thessalonica says, and therefore everyone
must repent: laymen, monks, priests, bishops—everyone. [5] Our Lord Jesus
Christ Himself tells us, “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand” (Matt.
4:17).
Sometimes we think that we don’t
have many sins, so we must be making real progress in the spiritual life.
People might even say that they don’t need to confess, since they have not done
anything wrong. But, unfortunately, this does not mean that they are already
saints; on the contrary, it is a bad sign, since the saints are more aware of
their sins than most of us are. Abba Poemen, the Desert Father, once told a
story about Abba Dioscoros: One day Abba Dioscoros’s disciple was in his own
cell when he heard the abba weeping. So the disciple went and asked Abba
Dioscoros what was wrong. “I am weeping over my sins,” the elder answered. “But
you do not have sins, Father,” the disciple replied. And the elder said,
“Truly, if I were allowed to see my sins, three or four men would not be enough
to weep for them.” [6] The closer we grow to God, the brighter His light shines
in our souls, and the more clearly we see our sins and shortcomings. So if we
are growing in love for God, we should also have a constantly growing awareness
of our own sinfulness and unworthiness.
If we don’t confess to God, we
make the Devil happy, and our spiritual state grows worse and worse. Abba John
the Dwarf says, “The enemy rejoices over nothing so much as over those who do not
confess their thoughts.” [7] And Saint Symeon the New Theologian explains how
the Lord gave Adam a chance to confess after he disobeyed in the Garden of
Eden. When the Lord came in the evening and found Adam hiding, He asked him, “Where
are you?” “Who told you you are naked?”—hoping that Adam would confess his sin
and ask for forgiveness. But, as we know, Adam did not confess. Instead, as the
saying goes, “he took it like a man—he blamed his wife,” and by implication he also
blamed God, saying that it was the woman God gave him who caused him to sin.
Then the Lord turned to Eve to see if perhaps she would confess. But she blamed
the serpent. Since neither one was willing to say, “I have sinned, forgive me,”
they were cast out of Eden. [8] How different our lives would be if only our
first parents had confessed their sin, instead of hiding it and blaming each
other for it! When we come to the Last Judgment, we also will have to choose
between two answers to the Lord for all the sins we have committed in our
lives. We can either say, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner,” or we can make
excuses and blame others for our sins. What we must remember is that the Lord
accepts those who confess their sins, as He accepted the publican, the prodigal
son, the harlot, Zacchaeus, and the thief on the cross. But He rejects those,
like the Pharisee, who deny their sins or blame others for them.
How Often Should
We Confess?
The simplest answer is: as often
as possible. Saint Cosmas advises us to confess every day if possible, but if
not, then weekly or monthly, but at least four times a year. [9] You see, at
the moment we sin, we open the way for Satan to enter into us and start
crowding God out of our lives. The longer we wait to turn back to God and
confess, the more deeply and firmly Satan digs in and takes over, and the
stronger sin’s grip becomes on us. Abba Poemen declared, “At the moment when a
man goes astray, if he says, I have sinned, immediately the sin ceases.” [10]
Once a monk asked his elder why the people in the world live such bad lives, but
have so few strong temptations, while the monks try so hard and have a great
many temptations. It seemed unfair, he thought. The elder answered that when
worldly people fall, they don’t confess and get back up again, so they can’t
fall again, since they are already flat on the ground. The Devil does not waste
his temptations on them anymore, since he already has them anyway. But when a
monk falls, he immediately confesses his sin and gets up. Now he is standing up
again, so he can also fall again. Sometimes the monk wins in his battle with
Satan, and sometimes he loses, but he keeps on trying until finally he comes to
peace with God. [11] Similarly, when one of the brothers fell, he asked Abba
Sisoes what to do. “Get up again,” he answered. “I did, but I fell again,” the
monk said. “Get up again and again.” “How many times?” the monk asked. “Until
you are taken up either in virtue or in sin,” the abba told him. [12] So we see
that we should confess every time we sin. And then, after confessing, we must
fill our minds with thoughts of God so that the temptations and sins do not
return and fill us again with their filth.
One way everyone can use to get
rid of sin as soon as possible is to confess daily. Saint Isaiah the Solitary
taught: “Examine yourself daily in the sight of God, and discover which of the passions
is in your heart. Cast it out, and so escape His judgment.” [13] Now,
obviously, you cannot go to a priest daily and tell him your temptations and
sins, but you can go before God every night in your prayers and examine your
life during the day which has just passed. Saint Maximos the Confessor teaches
us that our daily confession should have two parts: first, we should thank God
for all the blessings we have received from Him, especially the ones of that
day; then we should bring to light and examine our sins, again especially the
ones of that day. These two acts produce humility, says the Saint, since in our
thanksgiving we see how unworthy we are of God’s goodness and blessings to us, while
in our confession of sins we see how badly we have repaid Him for His love
toward us and we ask for His forgiveness. [14] If we follow this rule, we never
let the sun go down on our sins and do not give them a chance to put out deep
roots in our souls.
How To Confess
You do not, perhaps, need any
special instructions to make your daily confession as part of your prayers; but
special preparation is needed for the Mystery of Confession. Saint Cosmas of Aitolia
lived in a time of great spiritual decline, when the Moslem Ottoman Empire was
oppressing Christians and when most priests were so poorly trained that they
were not allowed to hear confessions. Wherever Saint Cosmas went, he preached
to the people about the Faith and about repentance, and then he heard as many
confessions as he could. But since there were always too many people, he told
them he would take all their sins on his own shoulders if they would agree to
take four hairs from his beard. These four hairs are the four steps to a good
confession: (1) forgive your enemies; (2) find a good confessor and tell him
all your sins; (3) accuse only yourself, no one else; and (4) leave confession
firmly resolved that it is better to die than to sin again. [15] Let us look at
each of these steps in detail.
Forgive Your
Enemies
Our Lord Jesus Christ taught:
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him,
so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Matt. 11:15). He also
said, “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your
brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.
First go and be reconciled to your brother: then come and offer your gift”
(Matt. 5:23-24). Before you can do anything acceptable to God, you must forgive
your neighbors, and above all, your enemies. The Apostle John says that,
“anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the
darkness. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no
murderer has eternal life in him” (I John 2:9; 3:15).
Saint Cosmas told a story about
two men who came to confession. One of them, Peter, had many good deeds and few
sins, but he would not forgive men for their offenses against himself. The other,
Paul, had many sins but he always forgave others. Because of this, Peter was
sent to Hell, while Paul, because he forgave others, was granted Holy
Communion. Saint Cosmas says that Peter was like 100 pounds of flour, and his
hatred and refusal to forgive others was the yeast which changed it all into
the devil’s poison. Paul, on the other hand, was like a pile of kindling, and his
forgiving of others was the spark which ignited the whole pile and made it burn
brightly for God. [15] So before you do anything else, think about those who
have offended you, and then forgive them from the bottom of your heart. In the
words of Abba Zeno, “If a man wants God to hear his prayer quickly, then before
he prays for anything else, even his own soul, when he stands and stretches out
his hands towards God, he must pray with all his heart for his enemies. Through
this action, God will hear everything that he asks.” [17]
Actually, this is something you
should do every day as part of your daily confession. Saint Epiphanius once met
with Abba Hilarion and served him a fowl to eat. Abba Hilarion said, “Forgive me,
but since I received the [monastic] habit, I have not eaten meat which has been
killed.” Saint Epiphanius answered, “Since I took the [monastic] habit, I have
not allowed anyone to go to sleep with a complaint against me, and I have not
gone to rest with a complaint against anyone.” Abba Hilarion admitted that
Saint Epiphanius’s way of life was better than his. [18] Let us follow Saint
Epiphanius’s good example, and never go to bed in a state of enmity with
anyone; rather, let us forgive everyone every night in our evening prayers.
Find a Good
Confessor and Tell Him All Your Sins
Saint Symeon of Thessalonica says
that you must confess all your sins with simplicity and sorrow, and you must
promise to correct any injustices and from now on to behave in a godly way. [19]
In order to confess all your sins you must review your life since your last
confession and see what sorts of falls you have had. Daily confession will make
this much easier, since you will remember far more and be aware of more of your
sins if you consider them each day.
Your spiritual father may also
help you to review your thoughts and actions and to examine yourself by asking
you some questions. There are also various other aids that you can use in
considering your sins. One approach is to go over the Ten Commandments and the
Beatitudes to see how your life compares to their demands; you can also find
lists of questions based on them to help in this examination. Another method is
to consider the three parts of the soul and see what sorts of sins are characteristic
of each: the intelligent part is prone to errors in faith, such as heresy or
blasphemy; the incensive part often leads to anger and cursing of others; and
the appetitive part produces greed, love of money, envy, jealousy, impurity. [20]
There is, however, one special caution which must be observed when you examine yourself
to see what your sins are. Saint Mark the Ascetic warns that you should be
careful not to go over your sins in too much detail, either in preparing for
confession or when confessing them, since dwelling on them too much may
rekindle some of the old passions and cause you to fall again. [21] In any
case, pray to God to enlighten you and show you your sins as far as you are able
to bear this knowledge.
People sometimes get nervous when
they hear they must confess all their sins. They think, “What if I forget
something? Will God condemn me even more?” Once in a while, you really do forget
a sin, and quite often you are ignorant of your real sins because of your
spiritual immaturity, but do not let this frighten you. When the priest prays
for your forgiveness in the prayer of absolution, he prays that you will also
be forgiven for any sins you have not confessed, either because of ignorance or
forgetfulness. Of course, if you later remember a sin you forgot to confess, or
if you become aware that some past act was sinful, you should tell this to your
spiritual father at your next confession.
After reviewing your life and
determining your sins, you and your spiritual father should sit down together
in a quiet place and talk over your sins. During this conversation, you should
not just tell him about the actual sins you have committed, but also about
ideas and temptations which have troubled you or about which you are in doubt.
Unfortunately, it is not always possible to do this, especially if you come to
confession only before Liturgy on Sunday morning. If this is your normal
practice, you might try to find a time occasionally when you can have a longer
conversation with your spiritual father.
Mention of your spiritual father
brings us to the other part of this step. You should try to find an experienced
spiritual father, and one for whom you feel trust. Abba Poemen warns us, “Do not
lay open your conscience to anyone whom you do not trust in your heart.” [22]
There was once a monk who was very tempted. He went to an elder and confessed
his sinful thoughts. Before the elder had even heard of the monk’s sinful
deeds, he said, “You have lost your soul.” So the monk decided that in that
case, there was no point in his staying in the monastery and living such a difficult
life. As he was leaving to go back to the world, however, he met Abba Silouan,
who was spiritually very experienced and perceptive. He asked the monk what was
wrong, so the monk confessed his sinful thoughts again. But Abba Silouan told
him the Scriptures do not condemn a person only for thoughts. That encouraged
the monk enough that he then told the abba about his sinful deeds. Abba Silouan
taught the monk about repentance, and the monk went back to the monastery and
became a lamp of virtue. [23] As you can see, that inexperienced elder nearly cost
the monk his soul. By the way, being spiritually experienced is not the same
thing as being well educated or old. It is possible for a young person to be
more spiritually experienced than an old one, and it is actually somewhat more
likely that a less highly educated confessor will be humbler and more
experienced spiritually. Further, there are laymen who are far more experienced
in things of the Spirit than are many priests. At times you will find that
people confess their sins to a layman for advice and guidance, and then go to a
priest for absolution.
Some cautious priests, knowing
their own lack of spiritual experience, will hear confessions and read the
prayer of absolution, but will not give any beyond the most general advice,
lest they cause harm to the person confessing. If a spiritual father has some
experience, however, he should try to help those who confess to him by advising
them on how best to deal with their temptations and conquer their passions. In
fact, receiving such advice is one of the advantages of confessing to a
spiritual father.
You must be careful of a
particular temptation which the evil one will often use against you. As Saint
Theodorus puts it, “Do not judge the actions of your spiritual father, but obey
his commands. For the demons are in the habit of showing you his defects, so
that your ears may be deaf to what he tells you.” [24] Your spiritual father is
also a human being, with his own sins and weaknesses. Even so, he may be able
to see things—or God may show them to him—which will help you if you listen to him.
Do not be critical of him or be put off by something he says or does, so that
you refuse to listen to his good advice to you.
A spiritual father does not
normally give actual “commands” or “obediences” to his spiritual children, but
he can help them with advice if they ask for it. Saint Peter of Damascus
teaches that “we can trust only him who has received from God the grace of
discrimination and who, as Saint Maximos says, has acquired through great
humility and long practice of the virtues an intellect blessed with spiritual
insight. Such a man is in a position to advise, not everyone, but at least
those who seek him out voluntarily and who question him by their own choice… It
is because of his humility, and because his questioners seek him out
voluntarily, that what he says is stamped on the soul of his listeners.” [25] Sadly
enough, Saint Peter remarks that even in his day there was no one who had this
discrimination, since no one had the humility that leads to it. [26] How much
less likely that you will find such humility and true discrimination today! But
do not despair. Rather, discuss your spiritual state with your spiritual father.
He cannot and must not dictate to you, but it is very important to be open to
his advice. The combination of his advice and your humility in receiving it is
often the key to victory over your sins. Once two brothers went to confess to
Abba Zeno. One of them had many tears and a great desire for instruction, while
the other was indifferent and had no interest in anything the abba had to teach
him. Later, when the two monks compared notes, the one who wanted guidance was
healed of his sins, but the other was not. [27]
When you come to confession, be
careful to avoid another temptation. It is easy to start talking about all
sorts of exalted spiritual questions, the meaning of the Scriptures, and so
forth, while you somehow neglect to mention your own sins. Once an elder who
had heard about Abba Poemen made a long trip to see him. When he was admitted
to the abba’s cell, the visitor began talking about all sorts of exalted
spiritual matters; but Abba Poemen did not say a word to him. Finally, the
visiting elder left and, in great disappointment, told Abba Poemen’s disciple
that the abba had not spoken to him at all. When the disciple asked Abba Poemen
why he had not talked with the visitor, the abba answered that the visitor knew
about sublime spiritual topics, of which he was ignorant, so he had nothing to
say. He only knew about the passions and how to struggle with them. The
disciple advised the visitor to go again to see Abba Poemen and to ask him
about the passions of the soul. When he did so, Abba Poemen replied that now
this was something he knew about, and they then had a long talk which was very
profitable for the visitor. [28] So when you come to confession, leave theology
behind and stick to your passions.
Remember that when you come to
confession, you are actually confessing to God; you should approach Him with
reverence and godly fear, knowing how holy He is. So often today people are
casual and unconcerned in their approach to anyone in authority, and this
attitude sometimes carries over into their approach to God. But, when you come
to Confession or Holy Communion, think how you would feel if you could actually
see the Lord Jesus Christ standing there before you. Then remind yourself that
He is in truth there, and approach Him with awe. In the Order of Confession,
the priest is told to remind the person confessing, “Brother, inasmuch as thou
hast come to me and to God, be not ashamed; for thou speakest not unto me, but
unto God, before Whom thou standest.” [29] Now, some people may ask, “Why,
then, do I need to have the priest there at all? Can’t I just confess to God?”
But the Apostle James instructs us: “Therefore confess your sins to each other
and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). Your spiritual
father is present in Confession as a witness so that you really will examine
yourself, to give you advice, and also because your sins are also offenses against
mankind, of which he is a representative. One of the important products of a
full confession to another person is that it leads to humility, which is
absolutely essential for any progress at all in the spiritual life. Always
remember that your spiritual father has his own sins and trials. He will not
judge and condemn you if you open your heart to him. You must not, then, be
ashamed to open your life up to him and confess all your sins. The time to be
ashamed is when you commit the sin, not when you come to confess it. Often it
is the very act of humbling yourself and acknowledging your sin that leads to
your triumph over it. There was once a father who had a terrible warfare with temptation
for three years, but he was unable to confess it. In his pride and shame he
said to himself, “Why reveal my secrets, when I already know what to do?” So,
although he often visited his elder and talked to him about other things, he
never mentioned this warfare. But since the warfare kept getting worse, he finally
decided he had to go and confess it. On the way, he wavered, and he decided,
“If no one is there, I will confess, but not otherwise.” When he arrived, the
elder was alone, but still he did not confess. Finally, as he was about to
leave again without confessing, the elder stopped him and encouraged him to
confess. The elder could see he was in difficulty, so he told him, “I am a man
of like passions to you. Tell me what is wrong.” At last, the monk confessed
his sin, and immediately his heart was lightened and he was freed from that
passion. [30]
Saint John Cassian likewise tells
of a monk who was a great ascetic, but would not reveal his thoughts to anyone.
He was troubled for a long time by dreams which showed him that Judaism was
better than Christianity, but he told no one about the dreams, nor did he ask
for advice. In the end, he abandoned Christ and became a Jew himself, having
been led astray by his pride. True discernment comes only from true humility,
which you show by being willing to reveal your thoughts and actions to your
spiritual father, rather than trusting in your own wisdom. The very act of
revealing them weakens and withers evil thoughts. [31]
Accuse Only
Yourself, No One Else
Actually, there are two reasons
why you should accuse only yourself at confession. In the first place, when you
come to confession, you must not follow the bad example of Adam and Eve and try
to blame someone else for your sins; rather, you must take responsibility
yourself for your own weakness. Abba Or taught his disciples: “In all
temptations, do not complain about anyone else, but say about yourself, ‘These
things happen to me because of my sins.’” [32] Abba Moses likewise taught that
if a person does not think in his own heart that he is a sinner, then God will
not hear him. He said, “When someone is occupied with his own faults, he does
not see those of his neighbor.” [33] As long as you are trying to blame someone
else for your sins, you are not truly sorry for them—you have not yet
acknowledged that you are responsible for them—so God cannot give you the
strength to overcome them. It is only when you turn to God, admit your own
weakness and sinfulness, and ask for His help, that you will begin to make
progress against your sins.
The second reason for accusing
only yourself during confession is that you must never reveal another person’s
sins. Abba Poemen warns that if you reveal another person’s sins, God will reveal
yours. [34] Many people know that a priest is not allowed to tell anyone what
he has heard in confession, even at the threat of death. But many do not know
that this same rule applies to everyone. If you happen to overhear what someone
says in confession, you must never reveal that to anyone. You are bound just as
much as the priest is to keep it secret. When Christians learn of someone
else’s sins, they should pray for that person; but to reveal the sins and talk
about them destroys your own soul. To keep silent about someone else’s sins is
all part of not judging others. Saint Isaac the Theban once saw a brother
sinning and condemned him in his heart. When the Saint got home, he found an
angel blocking the door to his cell. The angel said, “God sent me to ask you
where you want to throw the guilty brother you have condemned.” Saint Isaac
repented, and the angel told him that he should not judge before God has done
so. [35] Another time a group of monks was discussing the sins of one of the
brothers. Abba Pior came with a big bag of sand on his back and a small bag of
sand hanging down in front. The fathers asked the meaning of this, and he told
them that we put our sins—the big bag—behind us so that we will not be troubled
by them, and we put the little bag of our brother’s sins in front of us so we
will be able to see and judge his sins. This is backwards. [36] Always remember
that you are coming to confess your own sins, not to judge your brother. If you
do reveal someone else’s sins during confession, you are actually committing
another sin in the midst of confession, so how can you hope to be forgiven?
Leave Confession
with a Firm Resolution that it is Better to Die than to Sin Again
It is easy to fall into the habit
of going to confession without really thinking about what repentance means, but
this makes confession worse than meaningless. Repentance is a firm desire and
intention not to commit that sin again. Saint Symeon of Thessalonica even
declares that if a priest is aware that someone is not really repentant when he
comes to confession, he must send that person away without absolution.
Otherwise, the priest himself shares in that person’s sin. [37]
“He who conceals his sins does
not prosper,” say the Holy Scriptures, “but whoever confesses and renounces
them finds mercy” (Prov. 28:13). Abba Poemen says that God will forgive one who
converts from sin. [38] If you have really decided to turn away from your sins
and commit them no more, then when the priest reads the prayer of absolution
over you, God forgives all your sins and wipes out the very memory of them.
What we find so often is that,
while we don’t really like our sins, we do love the things which lead to sin.
We want to stop judging other people, but we still enjoy talking about them and
hearing about things they do. As Saint Isaac the Syrian teaches, we become
enslaved to our passions because we are attached to the causes of our sins. You
cannot stop sinning, the Saint explains, unless you hate your sins, and you
cannot be forgiven unless you confess them. [39] So you go to confession with a
real desire to stop sinning, but you don’t want to give up the things which
lead to the sins. A monk once came to his elder and asked for help against
lustful thoughts. The monk was sincere in wanting the thoughts to stop, but
they did not. When the elder then prayed for enlightenment, he was shown that
an angel was waiting to help the monk, but the monk did not ask for help. On
the contrary, when the thoughts came he welcomed them and enjoyed them. [40]
This monk wanted his sin to go away, but he did not hate it. In fact, he
enjoyed the sinful thoughts when they came, even though they were drawing him
away from God. In such a case, confession is worthless, since there is no
desire to stop sinning. In another case, a monk confessed his helplessness against
impure thoughts and asked his elder to pray for his victory over them. After
the elder had prayed for him for seven days, the monk said the thoughts were
worse than ever. The elder was puzzled, so he prayed to God for an explanation.
Satan appeared to him and said that from the first day of the elder’s prayers
he had stopped tempting the monk, but the monk had then created his own
temptation by eating and drinking too much. [41] If you come to confession and
do not really intend to stop sinning, then you would do better to stay away.
You are not receiving the forgiveness of your sins at all, but are just mocking
God and making your state worse than before.
Now, do not misunderstand this.
Sometimes people say, “But, I always have the same sins. Does that mean I
should not come to confession?” It can be discouraging to find that you have
the same sins each time you come to confession, but, as one priest says, “What
do you want—new sins?” No matter how weak you are and no matter how many times
you fall into the same sins, if you want help in overcoming your sins, then
come and confess them, asking for this help. But be ready to work to overcome them.
Do not just think that they will go away on their own while you continue to
feed them and to enjoy the things that cause them. If, on the other hand, you
have no desire to struggle and to avoid the situations, people, and things that
have led you to sin in the past, then you might better stay away from
confession, because in this case confession only adds more sins to your burden.
For confession to produce forgiveness, you must hate your sin and want to
conquer it by all the means at your disposal.
What To Do When
You Have No Spiritual Father
For many Orthodox Christians,
what they have read so far may be more frustrating than helpful. In our current
circumstances many Orthodox Christians live far away from a church and may not
see a priest more than once or twice a year. In other cases, while they may
have a priest at hand, they may not feel able to approach him as a spiritual
guide, or he himself may not be willing to provide such advice and direction.
In the modern world there is a fearful shortage of priests with the experience and
the discrimination to be spiritual fathers. Sometimes this problem can be
solved by occasionally telephoning a spiritual father or writing to him, but
that is frequently unsatisfactory too. This same situation has often arisen in
the past, since there have never been enough discriminating spiritual fathers.
Many centuries ago there was an ascetic who served as spiritual father to some
monks; as a result of hearing one monk’s confession, he fell into sin himself.
Where he was living, there was no one to whom he could open his thoughts, so he
decided to go where he could find someone to whom he could confess, although
that would leave no one to hear the thoughts of the monks where he was then
living. As he was starting to leave, God sent him a vision in the form of a
young virgin who advised him to stay where he was, to live with God’s grace,
and to learn the truth from it. This is what he did, and he was healed from his
sin. [42]
From this example, we learn that
when you have no one to advise you, you can call on God to send you His grace
to help you. Of course, you must be careful not to fall into the error of ignoring
a guide when you have one available and saying that you will have only God for
your director. God will not help in this special way when there is a guide at
hand whom you choose to disregard. There is a story of a man who was trapped on
the roof of his house in a flood. A boat came to rescue him, but he refused,
saying that he was waiting for God to save him from the flood. Later a
helicopter came, but he turned it down also, waiting for God to save him. Then
the flood waters came up higher, and the man drowned. When he came to judgment,
he asked the Lord why He had not saved him from the flood. The Lord replied, “Who
do you think sent the boat and the helicopter?” If He gives you a guide, He
expects you to listen to him. But if He does not give you one, then He will
graciously be your guide if you approach Him in sincerity and humility.
Similarly, Saint Peter of
Damascus says that if you have no advisor, you should take Christ as your
counsellor. Ask Him with humility and heartfelt prayer about your every thought
and action. If you are sincere and have as your only purpose the doing of God’s
will, then God Himself will teach you what to do. He may do this in different
ways: directly, through inspiration; by means of some person (sometimes this
may be the priest to whom you go to confession); by circumstances; or by the
Holy Scriptures. [43] As an example of how God can send you guidance, remember
the Ethiopian eunuch who was riding in his chariot and reading the Prophet
Isaiah. The Holy Spirit sent Saint Philip the Apostle to him to ask if he
understood what he was reading. The eunuch said he did not, so Saint Philip
explained to him how the Prophet was speaking about our Lord Jesus Christ.
After this explanation, the eunuch asked to be baptized (Acts 8:26-39). In another
instance, from the nineteenth century, a young man came to confess to the
Russian Elder Amvrosy of Optina. While he was waiting, he was very upset and
confused about how to confess his sin. Fr. Joseph, the elder’s cell attendant,
gave him a book of essays, saying, “Here, this is a good book to read before confession.”
The young man opened the book to a passage which was exactly what he needed,
and he finished it just as he was called for confession. [44] When you ask the
Lord Jesus Christ in this way for guidance, you must give up your own will and
live in God. You must hope in faith for an answer from Him, and you must be
patient for that answer to come. Do not assume that you are immediately going
to receive a revelation in answer to your request. Saint Peter of Damascus says
that it may take years for the answer to come, but it will come. In the
meantime, be humble enough to admit that you do not know about the matter, so
that you do not fall into either of the possible temptations: disbelieving an
angel who is bringing you the answer, or trusting a devil who is trying to
mislead you. [45] In words of great comfort, Saint Peter says that if you have
no guide, but do try to act with dispassion, even things you may do that are
not so good will be counted to your credit for two reasons: because you are
perplexed about how best to follow God, and because you have God in mind and
have the intention to follow Him to the best of your ability. [46]
If you have the sincere desire to
conquer your sins, God is always ready and waiting to help you. If possible,
take all four hairs from Saint Cosmas’s beard: forgive your enemies, confess all
your sins to an experienced spiritual father, accuse no one but yourself for
your falls, and have the firm intention to die rather than to sin again. But if
you cannot grasp the second hair in full because you have no spiritual father,
at least take the other three hairs and make a full confession of your sins to
God Himself, asking Him to provide you with the guidance you need in the absence
of a human spiritual father. In either case, God will see your humility and
your sorrow for your sins and will grant you forgiveness and guidance in living
with, in, and for Him in the future.
FOOTNOTES
1. Blessed Theophylact, Blagovestnik [in Russian], S.
Pctersburg, p. 679.
2. Vaporis, N. M., Father Kosmas, The Apostle of the Poor,
Brookline, Massachusctts, 1977, p. 111.
3. Menounou, I. V., Kosma tou Aitolou Didakhes [in
Greek], Athens, 1979, p. 163.
4. Tal'berg, N., Istoriya Khristianskoy Tserkvi [in
Russian], Jordanville, New York, 1964, pp. 98-99 gives a brief history of this period.
5. Saint Symeon of Thessalonica, Ta Apanta [in Greek],
Thessalonica, 1882, pp. 205-206.
6. Ward, B., The Sayings of the Desert Fathers,
London, 1975, p. 46.
7. Ibid., p. 152.
8. Symeon the New Theologian, The Discourses, New
York, 1980, pp. 95-97.
9. Vaporis, op. cit., p. 66.
10. Ward, op. cit., p. 152.
11. Euergetinos [in Greek], Athens, 1983, Vol. I, pp.
428-429.
12. Ward, op. cit., p. 184.
13. Philokalia, London, 1979, 1981, 1984, Vol. I, p.
26.
14. Philokalia, Vol. 11, p. 226.
15. Menounou, op. cit., p. 229; Vaporis, op. cit.,
pp. 64-66.
16. Vaporis, op. cit., pp. 66-67.
17 Ward, op. cit., p. 57.
18. Ibid., p. 49.
19. Op. cit., p. 210.
20. Saint Symeon of Thessalonica, op. cit., p. 211.
21. Philokalia, Vol. I, p. 138.
22. Ward, op. cit., p. 163.
23. Euergetinos, Vol. 1, pp. 286-287.
24. Philokalia, Vol TI, p. 21.
25. Philokalia, Vol. III, p. 183.
26. Philokalia, Vol. III, p. 185.
27. Euergetinos, Vol. I, pp. 285-286.
28. Ward, op. cit., pp. 140-141.
29. Manual of Eastern Orthodox Prayers, London, 1945,
p. 55.
30. Khampake, Th., Gerontikon [in Greek], Athens,
1962, pp. 343-344.
31. Philokalia, Vol. I, pp. 102-104.
32. Ward, op. cit., p. 207.
33. Ibid., p. 120.
34. Ibid., p. 147.
35. Ibid., p. 93.
36. Ibid., p. 168.
37. Op. cit., p. 209.
38. Ward, op. cit., p. 150.
39. The Ascetical Homilies of Saint Isaac the Syrian,
Boston, 1984, p. 152.
40. Euergetinos, Vol. I, p. 309.
41. Ibid., pp. 309-310.
42. Euergetinos, Vol. 1, p. 310.
43. Philokalia, Vol. III, p. 149.
44. The Elder Joseph of Optina, Boston, 1984, p. 65.
45. Philokalia, Vol. III, pp. 269-270.
46. Ibid., p. 243.
Source: The True Vine, Number 1, Spring 1989, pp.
30-50. Footnote numbering adjusted.
