Prayer of Daily Confession to God of a Person Laying Down a Beginning of Repentance

by St. Dimitri of Rostov (+1709)

Finding a lonely place, and being alone by yourself, sit down, considering your life, and bring to mind all the sins committed by you from your youth, both those confessed and those unconfessed. Recalling them all, sigh from the depths of your heart, beat your breast, fall to your knees, raise up your mind from the earth to the throne of God, surrounded by cherubim and seraphim, there beholding, with mental eyes, God—seated on a high and exalted throne, watching over your portion and looking upon all your ways, and being attentive to whatever you do wish to say— and fall before his most loving-kind feet, and with fear begin to speak to him in this way:

O God most good, spring of goodness, abyss of mercy, my Creator, Redeemer, and Savior! To Thee, Who knowest those things that are hidden, secret, and Who triest hearts and reins, I confess my sins, and I bring my lawless acts before Thine all-seeing eye, in the hearing of Thine angels and archangels. I have sinned, my Lord and Maker, in…

Here, say all your sins, in order, quietly with your lips, as if whispering into the ears of the Lord, saying with remorse and shame on your face, with trembling of heart, and with tears: 

By these, I have sorrowed Thee, my Lord.

Finishing confessing your sins, say:

Behold my wounds and scabs and pustulent sores, O merciful physician! Behold my heavy burdens, O my good Lord! Behold my shame and my nakedness, O long-suffering Judge! By these, my deeds, I have sorrowed, angered, and vexed Thy goodness; by them have I defiled Thine image, afflicted Thy Holy Spirit, and driven my guardian angel away from me; by them have I have trampled on Thy most Precious Blood, shed for my sake, and counted it as nothing; by them have I lost the beauty of my soul, stripped myself naked of Thy grace, and made myself a den of thieves, an abode of demons and passions; by them have I corrupted the Church, redeemed by Thy Blood, making my whole body filthy, making all my members into members of fornication, defiling my soul with filthy, blasphemous, proud, soiled, prodigal intentions, consenting to this, and delighting in these things; by these things have I become a joy to demons, a lamentation to angels, and my soul has perished, so my way of life lies in a tomb of evil, sprinkled with the dust of impurity, moored by the stone of cruelty. Behold, Lord, my lawless deeds, which have gone up over my head, multiplied even more than the hairs of my head, and even more than the sands of the sea; confessing these things, I expose myself, condemn myself, declare myself guilty, and not only for these that I have recalled, but also those which I do not remember, and which I do not understand to be sins, but are, and which I do not know how to confess: all these things I lay before Thy most great loving-kindness, all-merciful and unmalicious God.

So after such and after so many shameful deeds of mine, after the great darkening and mindlessness of my mind, after such violent falls, and such senselessness, at last I have come to myself, and from the depths of my despair I have caught sight of, and come to see, Thy great loving-kindness, which cannot be overcome by the sins of men, for Thou dost not wish the death of a sinner, but rather mercifully await his conversion, and did shed Thy Blood bountifully for the sake of sinners alone, that Thou mightest call them to repentance. Understanding this, I, the wretch, I, the sinner, who have surpassed the whole world in sin, a second devil through my evil deeds, an imitator of Judas, an associate of the crucifiers, I, wretched and lawless, an unnavigable sea of all filth, a bottomless sink of all uncleanness, I, defiled, a shameless doer of all evil things, I flee and fall down before Thee, all-merciful and all-compassionate, cry with repentance in the pain of my heart: I have sinned, Father, against heaven and before Thee, I have sinned and done lawlessly, I have become a transgressor of Thy commandments, I have sinned, as no one ever before, I am not worthy to be called Thy son; I am not worthy to catch sight of and to see the height of heaven; I am not worthy to open my mouth before Thee; until now I have been Thine enemy. But I pray Thy goodness, and I bring supplication to Thy beneficence: have mercy on me, O God, according to Thy great mercy, and according to Thy many compassions purify my lawless deeds. Have mercy, forgive, and purify, for purification is from Thee. Lord, if Thou willest, Thou canst purify me. I know that Thou willest all to be saved: therefore, save even me. Since Thy can accomplish whatsoever Thou wishest, incline unto mercy, O Lord, remember Thy mercies and compassions that are from of old, and forgive mine iniquities; do not remember mine evil deeds; do not enter into judgment with Thy servant; do not grant unto me according to my deeds; do not expose me in Thine anger, neither punish me in Thy wrath. Open to me the doors of Thy goodness, open to me the doors of repentance, receive me in repentance, and call me to reason; stand me up, who am fallen, seek me who am lost, convert me who am ruined, heal me who am wounded, raise me who am dead. O Lord God of powers, convert me, reveal Thy face to me, and I shall be saved: shine Thy face on Thy servant. How long, Lord, shalt Thou forget me to the end? How long shalt Thou turn Thy face away from me? Turn Thy face away from my sin, but do not turn Thy face away from me, for I am afflicted: hear me quickly. I know that I am not worthy of the loving-kindness and love for mankind, but rather worthy of all the torments that hell has in store: I am worthy of the unsleeping worm, the gnashing of teeth, the outer darkness, and the unquenchable fire prepared for the devil and his angels; I am worthy of Tartarus, at which Satan himself trembles. However, so much is Thy greatness, and so great is Thy mercy, there is no sin that conquers Thy love for mankind. Therefore, I do not despair, but rather hope in Thine inexhaustible goodness, poured out continually on all without measure, and Thine ineffable loving-kindness. I hope on Thee, O Lord, and I hope that I will not be put to shame unto the ages. Thou art my hope, O God, a hope that is not put to shame. Do not put me to shame, Lord, at Thy dread judgment, before the multitudes of the heavenly powers and all Thy saints. I heartily regret that I have angered Thee, my Creator; by my malicious acts I have sorrowed Thine eternal and limitless goodness. Him whom I should have loved, and whose commandments I should have kept, as if hating Him I have given myself over to innumerable sins. Him whom I should have desired fervently, about Him have I thought very little, and toward Him I have been careless. Him with whom I should have been sweetly sated, Him have I exceedingly embittered and rejected. Him to whom I should have clung, from Him have I torn myself. Him to whom alone I have should lived, to Him have I died, but I live to sins, delights, and passions. Him whom I should have feared and honored, Him have I despised and dishonored in the least of His brethren and in me myself, defiling my whole self with deeds and words and intentions. Him whom I should have thanked and glorified unceasingly, abiding before Him, from Him have I turned away, from Him have I fled along dissolute paths, and I have been lazy in opening my mouth to the glory of His most holy Name. O my desire, O my merciful God, may Thou not be angry at me, a sinner, unto the end; for now I painfully regret all of this, and I do not cease from this regret. O that I had never angered my Lord! O that I had sooner been numbered among the dead rather than vex my good Lord! Why was I born, why was I raised, why do I even live until now, that I sorrow Thee, my Master, so gravely? May my heart now be torn apart by pain, may my stoniness fall apart and be broken up by pity; may I melt, like wax, from interior burning, for I have lost my God, I have fallen from His grace, I have angered His compassion, I have estranged His affection, I have deprived myself of His glory, I departed from His merciful visitation. On this account mine eyes know watery outburts day and night; inasmuch as I have not kept Thy law, inasmuch as I have transgressed much, I have sinned much before Thee; on this account my heart is in tumult, for neither does it tremble at torment, nor is it exhausted on account of falling away from heavenly good things, so much as it is exhausted because I have angered Thee, altogether good, altogether sweet, altogether lovely, altogether delightful: this alone shall I never cease to regret, from now and unto the ages. May my life disappear in pain, and my years in groanings; may my soul be exhausted in pain, and may my bones be troubled because I have gravely sorrowed my God, my Creator, my Master, my Redeemer. And what shall I do? I know that Thou art good, my God; Thou art lovingly-kind, my Creator; Thou art merciful and compassionate, my Redeemer —so merciful, that Thou didst not spare even Thine own soul, but rather laid it down for us sinners; and Thou doest unto us not according to our lawless deeds, neither do Thou givest unto us according to our sins.

This shall I do: I shall collapse at Thy most pure feet, I shall worship and fall down, and I shall lament before Thee, the Lord who created me. I am an abyss of sins; I plunge myself into the abyss of Thy mercy, my God, and I pray Thee, guide me toward true repentance and lead me, who am senseless and stony, into sense. Thou hast accepted many penitent sinners: David, Manasseh, Josiah, the publican, the harlot, the prodigal son, the thief, Peter, Saul, Photini, Thais, Pelagia, Mary of Egypt; do not reject even me, who have exceeded these in sins. For Thou hast not come to call the righteous, but rather sinners to repentance; therefore, call even me, who am most sinful of all; even if I have done nothing good before Thee, grant me according to Thy grace to lay down a good beginning, and make me worthy, O Lord, to love Thee, just as I once loved sin itself, and to work for Thee without laziness, just as I earlier worked for Satan the deceiver. All the more shall I work for Thee, O Lord my God, Jesus Christ, all the days of my life, if Thou grantest me Thy grace as a help.

Truly I marvel at Thy great long-suffering, O all-merciful, for during that time in which I committed my lawless deeds, Thou didst not bring me before Thy righteous judgment, nor did Thou expose me in Thine anger, nor did Thou execute me in Thy wrath, nor did Thou smite me with lightning from the heights, nor did Thou command the yawning earth to bring me down to hell alive, nor did Thou allow some pointless death to steal me away; and when I marveled much at this, I came to know that Thy measureless loving-kindness awaits my repentance and the correction of my defiled life with mercy and long-suffering, leaving me without execution so that I may come to my senses, and come to know my lawless deeds, and cease from my evil undertaking. I have come to know this, and with repentance I have come unto Thee not of my own doing, but rather Thou havest guided me and led me to Thee. And for what reason Thou hast done this, and what hast moved Thee to such mercy, and what need Thou havest that you call me, I do not know. This only I know, that I am sinful and without defense, and Thine enemy until now, and still uncorrected; but inasmuch as Thou hast called me and lead me before Thee, therefore enlighten my mind, open my lips, teach me how to speak before Thee, and cleanse my many lawless deeds and filthy acts, sprinkle me with the hyssop of Thy mercy, make me whiter than snow, lest I stand before Thee filthy and defiled. It would be better for me to hide somewhere in the dark bowels of the earth than to stand ashamed before the greatness of Thine unapproachable glory, shamefully stripped naked in this way, all covered in filth, revolting, while all Thy cherubim and seraphim who stand before Thee look upon me. But there is no place that can hide me from Thine eyes, brighter even than the sun.

At this I marvel and am stupefied: how are Thou not so revolted by such filthy defilements of mine, and how is it that Thou allowest me to stand before Thee and to speak boldly, and, what is more, unashamedly? How art Thou not revolted to gaze upon the impurity of my heart and the filth of my soul? How shall it be that Thine attendants, suddenly taking up fiery weapons, do not reject me and drive me away from Thy face? How shall it be that, repulsed by me, they do not drag me, bound, into the outer darkness? But Thy beneficence and extreme compassion do not desire that it be this way, for great, truly great, is Thy mercy; higher than the heavens, deeper than the abyss of hell, wider than all the earth and sea is Thy goodness, which desirest not my perdition, but rather awaits my conversion, and rejoices over the repentance of a sinner. Great is Thy mercy, O Lord, when Thou sufferest long with me, who have many times promised to repent, and have fallen into the same things, even the most evil; for many times have I promised repentance, and have affirmed this with oaths; however, I, the passionate one, lied; I repent trembling, but shall Thou not yet smite me, O Lord? And still, I do these same things every hour; but yet Thou art still lovingly-kind to me, not destroying me together with my lawless deeds.

Glory to Thy longsuffering, glory to Thy lovingkindness, glory to Thy compassion, glory to the multitude of Thy compassions, glory to the great multitude of Thy goodness, glory to Thy merciful face, standing before which I now bring to Thee, my Lord, my will and my goal set in hope of Thy help. From now on, from this day, from this hour, from this point, according to my strength I shall correct my evil and wretched life, feel pain and regret until death over past sins, and by Thy help keep myself from that which comes dangerously nigh. Thou knowest, my Lord, how I hate my filthy deeds and my very self on their account, and I hate my life all-defiled, and moreover I do not wish, by these things, to vex Thee, my good God—only do Thou, O Lord, give me help; for without Thy all-powerful help and grace I can in no way separate myself from my evil deeds and sinful way of life, and so cannot do one good deed, for without Thee I can do nothing. I have the will to repent; if Thou, O God, shall help me, Thou canst purify me. Lord, help me, and I shall be saved.

I believe, O Lord, in Thy compassion: help mine unbelief. I believe that Thou art near unto all who call upon Thee in truth. Truly, truly, truly I desire with all my heart to turn to Thee, my God, in repentance. God, hearken to my help; Lord, make haste to help me.

Then, rising from the ground, being firm in your hope in the Lord, and considering his great goodness and mercy, read Psalm 102, that your soul may be comforted: “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is in me, bless His holy name…” and so on.

If it is not possible to learn all these phrases by memory, then lay down in your mind all these things with these short articles:

1. I confess to my God all my sins. 

2. I judge myself unworthy of his loving-kindness, but rather worthy of eternal torments. 3. However, I do not despair. 

4. Humbly, I beg forgiveness. 

5. I lay down the goal of correcting my life. 

6. I believe without a doubt that my sins are forgiven.