Holy Confession: Questions and Answers

The Holy Monastery of Machairas

 

 

BEFORE CONFESSION

What is Confession?

Confession is one of the fundamental Mysteries of the Church. It gives us the opportunity to be “reconciled” with God, to examine our faith and our lives, and to attain spiritual health. It is an act of repentance. And repentance means changing ourselves, turning around, being transformed. When we sin, we distance ourselves from God. But when we repent, confess our sins, and ask for forgiveness, we return to Him.

Confession frees us from the burden of sin. Furthermore, it gives us the opportunity to discuss our deepest concerns, receive advice, and be strengthened spiritually.

How was it instituted? Is it perhaps a recent invention of the clergy?

The Mystery was instituted by Christ Himself. He gave the Apostles the authority to forgive sins (John 20:23). The Apostles then passed on this gift to the bishops and presbyters of the Church. Thus, it is perpetuated through canonical ordination.

Is Confession necessary for everyone?

Only someone who is without sin has no need of Confession. Saint John the Theologian writes that whoever considers himself sinless is deluded and far from the truth (1 John 1:8). But even the only sinless One, Christ, received the baptism of repentance from the Forerunner and demonstrated the necessity of the Mystery. For this reason, Confession is an integral part of Orthodox Christian life.

Who can hear Confessions?

As mentioned above, Confession takes place before a spiritual father, that is, a priest who has been specially appointed to this ministry. Of course, we need to contact him so that he can arrange a time and place for us, unless he hears Confessions on regularly scheduled days and at fixed hours, in which case prior arrangements are unnecessary.

But the spiritual father also has sins!

The spiritual father does not forgive our sins through his own holiness or power, but through the grace given to him by God; he merely acts as an intermediary. He also makes sure to confess his own sins to another spiritual father.

DURING CONFESSION

Where does Confession take place?

Confession usually takes place in the church. However, it may also take place in a chapel or another location.

How does it take place?

We sit facing the icons and, at the prompting of the spiritual father, confess our sins. We may also consult the spiritual father about any matter that concerns us. When we have finished our Confession, we kneel, and the spiritual father places his epitrachelion, a symbol of his priestly ministry, over our head and asks God to forgive our sins. Before leaving, we venerate the epitrachelion and kiss the spiritual father's hand.

What should I say during Confession?

In Confession, we examine our feelings, thoughts, words, actions, behavior, habits, values, priorities, goals, direction, and way of life. We do not limit ourselves to our personal spiritual life, but also examine our family relationships, social relationships, work, and even our recreation. This is because our entire life must be illumined by the Holy Spirit. We do this not to condemn ourselves, but to ensure that we remain on the path toward Christ. We can therefore submit matters that concern us to the judgment of our spiritual father, so that we may make decisions and choices that help us progress spiritually, while at the same time avoiding others that could harm our souls.

I haven't killed anyone or stolen anything... What do I have to confess?

When we ask such a question, we reveal that we do not know the teaching of Christ. For Christ teaches us that even sinful thoughts distance us from God. Moreover, we sin not only when we do something evil, but also when we fail to do what is good. After all, who can claim that he truly fulfills the commandment of love, especially toward his enemies?

Is there an easy way to examine myself according to the law of God?

There are the Ten Commandments and their interpretation in the light of the New Testament. However, the most perfect and precise criterion is the commandment of love for God and for our fellow man. According to the words of Christ, all the other commandments are contained in this commandment (cf. Matt. 22:40). We cannot, for example, love God and violate His commandments. Nor is it possible to love others and at the same time commit injustices against them. Indeed, the genuineness of our love for God is revealed by our love for our fellow man (1 John 4:20). Thus, when we are indifferent toward others or mistreat them, we show that we have no love for God. We disregard His commandment to love our fellow man and fail to respect His creations.

I find it difficult to talk about such personal matters. I feel ashamed. What will the spiritual father think?

We should regard the confessional as a doctor's office and the spiritual father as a physician. For us, Confession is a matter of spiritual—and often physical—health. For the spiritual father, however, it is something quite ordinary. He will not be shocked by our sins. He has certainly heard worse. Besides, is it not strange that shame, which is absent when we commit sin, should overwhelm us when we repent?

I am afraid that the spiritual father might reveal my sins.

The spiritual father has a sacred duty to preserve the confidentiality of Confession, which is also recognized by law. If he violates this duty, he is subject to disciplinary action by his Bishop and the Ecclesiastical Courts. As we mentioned earlier, we should regard the spiritual father as a healer. We therefore need to place a corresponding degree of trust in him. For this reason, we choose our spiritual father freely and on our own responsibility, so that he may be a person of faith and virtue who has a good reputation among the faithful. Indeed, the tradition of our Church recommends regular Confession to the same spiritual father and discourages changing spiritual fathers. Moreover, experience has shown that we ourselves are usually responsible for the disclosure of details of our personal lives when we confide in unsuitable people who do not even have the status of a spiritual father.

How should we confess our sins to the spiritual father?

A simple, clear, and brief account is sufficient. Neither details (especially concerning matters of the flesh) nor lengthy introductions or excuses are necessary. If necessary, the spiritual father will ask for more information. What is certainly needed is humility and an awareness of our sins.

What might the spiritual father say to me?

He may explain the seriousness of a sin, offer advice on how to avoid it, or answer a question we have asked him.

AFTER CONFESSION

After the spiritual father's prayer, have all my sins been forgiven? Might I need to confess some of them again?

The spiritual father's prayer grants the remission of all the sins we have confessed. Consequently, any doubt we may have about this indicates a lack of faith in the Mystery and in the power of God. If, however, we omitted something essential concerning a particular sin, we need to clarify it the next time we go to Confession.

What if I forget a sin? What if I conceal one out of shame?

If we have forgotten something, and provided it is not serious, we may mention it at our next Confession. However, if we deliberately omitted a sin, then we should not consider that we have received absolution, and we should not receive Holy Communion, even if we have obtained permission from the spiritual father.

Is Holy Communion necessary after Confession?

Repentance is not limited to the Mystery of Confession. Our “reconciliation” and union with God are not complete without Holy Communion. This is the sacramental union with Christ the God-Man, the culmination of the Mysteries. Confession prepares us for Holy Communion.

May I therefore receive Holy Communion now that I have confessed?

After Confession, we should ask the spiritual father for permission to receive Holy Communion. He will determine the time, frequency, and manner of our preparation (fasting, prayer, forgiveness, and reconciliation with others).

But what is the point of confessing regularly when I know that I will repeat the same sins?

Just as someone suffering from a chronic illness does not cease striving to be cured, so too someone who truly desires spiritual health continually strives to attain it. This is man's spiritual struggle: lifelong repentance. The Mystery of Confession ensures that no sin can separate us from the mercy of God. Only a lack of repentance can condemn us to be eternally deprived of His mercy.

 

Greek source: https://analogion.gr/logos/sp-life/14-confession