Concerning the saying of the Apostle Paul: “and let the wife fear her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

St. Nektarios of Pentapolis | November 7, 1902

Source: Ανάπλασις, No. 255 / November 14, 1902.

 

After the Apostle Paul made known to the Ephesians the mystical character of marriage and taught them that Marriage is a great mystery, and showed the analogy of the bond of marriage to the union of Christ with the Church, and appointed the man, according to Holy Scripture, to be the head of the woman, in the same way that Christ is the head of the Church, and taught that both the man and the woman, according to Holy Scripture, are one body and one spirit as members of the body of the Church, which is the body of Christ, who loved us as His own flesh, he recommends that each man likewise should love his own wife as Christ loved the Church.

A more perfect love than this love it was impossible for the Apostle to recommend to the man. Through this exhortation, he not only elevated love to its highest eminence, but also ennobled it, spiritualized it, and sanctified it. After this exhortation to the men and the definition of the relation of the man to the woman and of the degree and quality of the love toward her, and after the elevation of marriage to a purely sacred and spiritual eminence, and the expression of the duties of the man toward the woman, he proceeds to the expression and definition of the duties of the woman toward her own husband. All these he expresses through this saying: “and let the wife fear her husband.”

This saying, after what has been stated by Paul concerning the love of the husband toward his own wife and concerning the degree and quality of that love, the fear of which he speaks cannot at all express anything terrifying or intimidating for the woman. The Church, as the body of Christ, loves and at the same time fears our Lord Jesus Christ as her Savior and Head. This fear of the Church toward Jesus Christ is born from the great love toward Him who loved her, and it is expressed and manifested as utmost reverence toward Him, as reverence for His commandments, as complete submission to Him, and as eagerness to be pleasing to Him. This love of the Church toward the Savior is manifested as fear—lest she fall short in anything and be cast out of His love, being shown unworthy of it. Such is the fear of the Church toward the Savior Christ. In precisely the same sense and meaning, the Apostle writes that the wife should fear her husband.

Through this saying, the Apostle Paul sought the strengthening of the bonds of conjugal love; for just as the love and fear of the Church toward the Savior Christ make her more beloved as a bride to the Bridegroom Christ, so also the love and fear of the wife toward her own husband make her more beloved to him. That this fear has nothing in common with the fear implied by certain gentlemen who smirk at the time of the reading of this passage during the sacrament of marriage, and that this fear is sacred, pure, and just, and that it is enjoined upon women as a divine commandment for their own happiness and eternal blessedness and for the unbreakable bond of mutual love—we desire to demonstrate.

Concerning Fear

Fear is an innate feeling in man. This feeling is manifested as timidity, as awe, as terror in circumstances in which life is threatened with danger. Likewise, this feeling is manifested as agitation and anxiety in circumstances in which the honor or property of a person is threatened, whether justly or unjustly.

The degree of greater or lesser manifestation of fear or of agitation and anxiety is proportional either to the magnitude of the actual danger or to the magnitude of the aroused imagination. The feeling of fear is sometimes also manifested in circumstances in which nothing is actually threatened or endangered at the moment when a person is possessed by this feeling; it arises, however, from a possible danger in the future, which may result from our negligence concerning something dear to us. This feeling is manifested either as intense love toward something, or as profound reverence, or as extreme care, or as unceasing concern. Thus, fear, being manifested in various ways according to different circumstances and generated by various causes, must also be characterized in different ways. Hence, the fear manifested as awe or timidity or terror may be called natural, while the fear manifested as agitation and anxiety, as well as that which is manifested as love and reverence, may be called moral. Therefore, natural fear differs from moral fear in regard to the causes that arouse it.

Natural fear is always blameless and is classified among the blameless passions, having as its sole cause the danger of the loss of life. Moral fear is not always blameless; for it is twofold, as it arises from different moral causes according to quality—those of love and hatred. And just as the causes that generate it are opposed, so also are their respective characters. The fear that is born of love is sacred, pure, and just, and is manifested as sensitivity of soul for the beloved person, as care, as forethought, and as concern for them. This sacred fear is defined by Theophylact as an intensification of reverence, saying: “Fear (the sacred kind) is an intensification of reverence, just as reverence is a restrained fear.” And again: “Fear is modesty and reverence and intensified honor.” Oecumenius says the following about this fear: “Perfect fear is free from dread, and for this reason it is called pure and remains unto the ages of ages.” And in Holy Scripture the word fear is often used in the sense of modesty and reverence, and through it is expressed the longing for perfect knowledge and intimacy with the Divine. The fear arising from hatred is a polluted fear and is manifested as aversion and repulsion toward someone, as indifference, and as hostility. Regarding this type of fear, Clement of Alexandria says: “The other kind of fear arises along with hatred, such as that with which slaves regard harsh masters.”

Sacred fear is the fear toward God, the fear toward one’s parents, the fear toward one’s spouse, and the fear toward divine and human laws, and it springs from love.

Polluted fear is the fear of punishment. This is the fear felt by transgressors of divine and human laws. It springs from an evil conscience. The Church recommends to her own children the sacred, pure, and holy fear. This fear she also recommends to the woman entering into the union of marriage, who is placed under a new moral law; and she seeks this for the woman’s own happiness.

Sacred fear is dispassionate, for it threatens nothing dreadful. This fear, as a feeling, is identified with love, instilling reverent awe in the soul, lest, through the boldness that love brings, she should fall into contempt of her husband, as a certain Father says. Moral and pure fear is one of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, which Holy Scripture calls the fear of God. In Holy Scripture, the utmost righteousness is characterized as the fear of God: “A just man fears the Lord.” The fear of God in the Decalogue is the first and great commandment. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Saint Gregory the Theologian says: “The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord, as it were a first swaddling cloth; and wisdom, having transcended fear and raised it up to love, makes us friends and sons of God instead of slaves.” And Sirach says: “The crown of wisdom is the fear of the Lord, flourishing with peace and health of healing” (Sirach 1:15). The holy Fathers call the fear of God love toward God: “The fear of God is love toward Him; and love is like a cord, of which the one end depends on the heart of man, while the other touches the hand of God, who ever draws him toward His fear.” And Saint Basil the Great says: “Fear is saving and productive of sanctification.”

This sacred fear in Holy Scripture is identified with reverence and love toward someone. Thus did the interpreters and translators of the New Testament understand and interpret it. In the Greek translation of the Holy Scriptures published at Oxford, the verse in Ephesians 5:33 was rendered as follows: “Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife respect her husband.” In the Latin translation, it appears thus: “uxor autem videat ut timeat virum.” The timeo here, as is evident from the translation in other European languages, has the meaning of “to revere.” In the French translation of the Paris edition it is rendered: “que la femme respecte son mari.” In the Italian: “che altresì la moglie riverisca il marito.” In this sense, all European languages have translated this verse. And in the ancient Hebrew language, the fear toward God is interpreted by the interpreters as a fear arising from reverence, from piety. For example, the verse in Leviticus 19:3, “You shall fear every man, his mother and his father,” is interpreted as “you shall respect and reverence them.” Likewise, in the passage Joshua 4:14, “and they feared him (Joshua) as they had feared Moses all the days of his life,” it is interpreted by the lexicographers of the Hebrew-Greek dictionary M. N. Ph. Sauder and M. I. Trenel as: “comme ils avaient respecté Moïse” (“as they had respected Moses”). The same meaning is found in other passages of the Hebrew text of the Old Testament. In this sense the Apostle Paul also used the word, against whom ladies unfairly direct their reproach, even though he exalts them to a most honored and elevated place. Therefore, the causes of divorces do not arise from this fear taught by Paul, but must be sought elsewhere—perhaps in the lack of this sacred fear.

 

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