The Mystery of Confession: A Second Baptism

by Father Seraphim Johnson (+2009)

 

 

We all know that in Baptism God graciously forgives all the sins we have ever committed up until that time. But what happens when we sin again after Baptism? We cannot, in fact, be baptized again, so are we condemned to stay in our sin forever? Or has the Lord made some provision for us to renew our Baptism and to cleanse ourselves anew from our sins? When our Lord Jesus Christ washed His disciples’ feet at the Last Supper, He showed us that there is a way to be cleansed from our sins after Baptism. Let us review this event from the Gospel of Saint John:

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power, and that He had come from God and was returning to God; so He got up from the meal, took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around Him.

He came to Simon Peter, who said to Him, “Lord, art Thou going to wash my feet?”

Jesus replied, “Thou dost not realize now what I am doing, but later thou wilt understand.”

"No,” said Peter, “Thou shalt never wash my feet.”

Jesus answered, “Unless I wash thee, thou hast no part with Me.”

“Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”

Jesus answered, “A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” For He knew who was going to betray Him, and that was why He said not every one was clean.

(John 13:3-11)

Now, let us notice several things in this passage. First, this event took place right before the disciples received Holy Communion for the first time. They were purified by this washing before they received the Holy Mysteries of the Body and Blood of the Lord. When Saint Peter objected to the Lord’s washing his feet, the Lord said that if He did not wash Saint Peter’s feet, then Saint Peter would have no part in Him and His kingdom. That is, Saint Peter would not be able to receive the Lord’s Body and Blood and share in the new life. When Saint Peter heard this, he impulsively asked the Lord to wash all of him, not just his feet. But the Lord reminded him that he had already been washed—he had received Holy Baptism, which had cleansed his whole body. What Saint Peter needed now was to have his feet washed.

The feet are the part of the body which comes into contact with the world: as you walk around, especially if you are barefoot or in sandals, as the Lord and the disciples were, your feet get very dirty. The rest of you might stay clean after a bath, but you couldn’t walk anywhere without getting your feet all dusty and grimy. And that is how it is for us too: after being washed clean in Baptism, we still have to walk around in this fallen world, and when we do so, our spiritual feet get dirty. We cannot be baptized again, but before we can come to Holy Communion and share in the Lord’s Body and Blood, we need to be cleaned again. The means by which we are cleaned is Confession of our sins, which spiritually corresponds to the Washing of the Feet in this Gospel. In his commentary on this passage Blessed Theophylact says, “Thus through confession we can wash ourselves to commune worthily of the supper, and not eat and drink condemnation to ourselves.” [1]

Saint Cosmas of Aitolia, the great missionary of Greece and Albania in the eighteenth century, explains Confession quite clearly when he says: “We too should keep our Baptism as pure and immaculate as possible. If by chance we err, as human beings, may the gracious God be glorified, He Who has granted us a second Baptism, holy Confession, because it is impossible for a person to be saved who hasn’t been baptized and one who is unconfessed.” [2] Saint Cosmas also tells us: “The man who is unconfessed is similar to one who is unbaptized and is unable to be saved… If he has not confessed, let him commune as many times as he will, it does not help at all, but rather causes harm, since he communes unworthily, and woe to him… First we should wash and cleanse our vessel, and then place the most precious Thing inside.” [3]

The Origin of Confession

When the Lord appeared to His Apostles after His resurrection from the dead, He established the Mystery of Holy Confession. He breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven” (John 20:22-23). In these words He granted His Apostles the power, through the working of the Holy Spirit, to release men from their sins, and also to bind them in their sins. The Church has used this power ever since. Initially, the bishops, as the direct successors of the Apostles, were the only ones to exercise it, but by the second century they allowed priests to act as their representatives in forgiving sins. The Mystery has two parts: the person who is repenting confesses his sins orally to a priest or bishop, and then, if he seems to have a true desire to stop sinning, the clergyman reads a prayer for God to forgive the sins confessed. After this prayer, the sins are forgiven, as if they had never been committed.

In the second and third centuries, the confession of sins was often done publicly, in front of the whole congregation, at least when major sins were being confessed—apostasy, betrayal of fellow Christians, heresy, and sins which were already public knowledge, like adultery. For such sins, a long period of special discipline and testing was necessary before a person could be readmitted to Holy Communion. In many ways this period paralleled the preparation for Baptism, and the person who had confessed a major sin was treated much like one coming for Baptism. He had to pass through a series of stages, including: (1) mourner—he stood outside the church and asked the forgiveness and prayers of the Christians going inside; (2) listener—he stood with the catechumens in the narthex of the church and listened to the first part of the Liturgy, through the Scriptures and sermon, but left before the Eucharist itself; (3) kneeler—he stood in the back of the church, knelt for special prayers and a blessing from the bishop, but left before Holy Communion; (4) stander—he stood with the faithful, but was not admitted to Holy Communion. During all this time, the penitent was given a special rule of extra prayer and fasting; and if he was willing to fast even more, the time he was excluded from Holy Communion might be reduced. In the case of particularly serious sins, the person might be cut off from Holy Communion for many years, or even until he was dying.

Public confession and the long periods of special discipline and testing began to be relaxed in the third century, starting in Africa, and gradually the Mystery of Confession became more as we know it today. [4] When we look at our own sins, we need to remember how seriously they were treated in the early Church, and we should think about how long we would have been cut off from Holy Communion had we lived then as we do now.

Who Needs Confession?

There is no one alive who does not sin. Saint Paul says, “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). The Holy Apostle Saint John reminds us: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word has no place in our lives” (I John 1:8-10). In fact, everyone sins “continually,” as Saint Symeon of Thessalonica says, and therefore everyone must repent: laymen, monks, priests, bishops—everyone. [5] Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself tells us, “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand” (Matt. 4:17).

Sometimes we think that we don’t have many sins, so we must be making real progress in the spiritual life. People might even say that they don’t need to confess, since they have not done anything wrong. But, unfortunately, this does not mean that they are already saints; on the contrary, it is a bad sign, since the saints are more aware of their sins than most of us are. Abba Poemen, the Desert Father, once told a story about Abba Dioscoros: One day Abba Dioscoros’s disciple was in his own cell when he heard the abba weeping. So the disciple went and asked Abba Dioscoros what was wrong. “I am weeping over my sins,” the elder answered. “But you do not have sins, Father,” the disciple replied. And the elder said, “Truly, if I were allowed to see my sins, three or four men would not be enough to weep for them.” [6] The closer we grow to God, the brighter His light shines in our souls, and the more clearly we see our sins and shortcomings. So if we are growing in love for God, we should also have a constantly growing awareness of our own sinfulness and unworthiness.

If we don’t confess to God, we make the Devil happy, and our spiritual state grows worse and worse. Abba John the Dwarf says, “The enemy rejoices over nothing so much as over those who do not confess their thoughts.” [7] And Saint Symeon the New Theologian explains how the Lord gave Adam a chance to confess after he disobeyed in the Garden of Eden. When the Lord came in the evening and found Adam hiding, He asked him, “Where are you?” “Who told you you are naked?”—hoping that Adam would confess his sin and ask for forgiveness. But, as we know, Adam did not confess. Instead, as the saying goes, “he took it like a man—he blamed his wife,” and by implication he also blamed God, saying that it was the woman God gave him who caused him to sin. Then the Lord turned to Eve to see if perhaps she would confess. But she blamed the serpent. Since neither one was willing to say, “I have sinned, forgive me,” they were cast out of Eden. [8] How different our lives would be if only our first parents had confessed their sin, instead of hiding it and blaming each other for it! When we come to the Last Judgment, we also will have to choose between two answers to the Lord for all the sins we have committed in our lives. We can either say, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner,” or we can make excuses and blame others for our sins. What we must remember is that the Lord accepts those who confess their sins, as He accepted the publican, the prodigal son, the harlot, Zacchaeus, and the thief on the cross. But He rejects those, like the Pharisee, who deny their sins or blame others for them.

How Often Should We Confess?

The simplest answer is: as often as possible. Saint Cosmas advises us to confess every day if possible, but if not, then weekly or monthly, but at least four times a year. [9] You see, at the moment we sin, we open the way for Satan to enter into us and start crowding God out of our lives. The longer we wait to turn back to God and confess, the more deeply and firmly Satan digs in and takes over, and the stronger sin’s grip becomes on us. Abba Poemen declared, “At the moment when a man goes astray, if he says, I have sinned, immediately the sin ceases.” [10] Once a monk asked his elder why the people in the world live such bad lives, but have so few strong temptations, while the monks try so hard and have a great many temptations. It seemed unfair, he thought. The elder answered that when worldly people fall, they don’t confess and get back up again, so they can’t fall again, since they are already flat on the ground. The Devil does not waste his temptations on them anymore, since he already has them anyway. But when a monk falls, he immediately confesses his sin and gets up. Now he is standing up again, so he can also fall again. Sometimes the monk wins in his battle with Satan, and sometimes he loses, but he keeps on trying until finally he comes to peace with God. [11] Similarly, when one of the brothers fell, he asked Abba Sisoes what to do. “Get up again,” he answered. “I did, but I fell again,” the monk said. “Get up again and again.” “How many times?” the monk asked. “Until you are taken up either in virtue or in sin,” the abba told him. [12] So we see that we should confess every time we sin. And then, after confessing, we must fill our minds with thoughts of God so that the temptations and sins do not return and fill us again with their filth.

One way everyone can use to get rid of sin as soon as possible is to confess daily. Saint Isaiah the Solitary taught: “Examine yourself daily in the sight of God, and discover which of the passions is in your heart. Cast it out, and so escape His judgment.” [13] Now, obviously, you cannot go to a priest daily and tell him your temptations and sins, but you can go before God every night in your prayers and examine your life during the day which has just passed. Saint Maximos the Confessor teaches us that our daily confession should have two parts: first, we should thank God for all the blessings we have received from Him, especially the ones of that day; then we should bring to light and examine our sins, again especially the ones of that day. These two acts produce humility, says the Saint, since in our thanksgiving we see how unworthy we are of God’s goodness and blessings to us, while in our confession of sins we see how badly we have repaid Him for His love toward us and we ask for His forgiveness. [14] If we follow this rule, we never let the sun go down on our sins and do not give them a chance to put out deep roots in our souls.

How To Confess

You do not, perhaps, need any special instructions to make your daily confession as part of your prayers; but special preparation is needed for the Mystery of Confession. Saint Cosmas of Aitolia lived in a time of great spiritual decline, when the Moslem Ottoman Empire was oppressing Christians and when most priests were so poorly trained that they were not allowed to hear confessions. Wherever Saint Cosmas went, he preached to the people about the Faith and about repentance, and then he heard as many confessions as he could. But since there were always too many people, he told them he would take all their sins on his own shoulders if they would agree to take four hairs from his beard. These four hairs are the four steps to a good confession: (1) forgive your enemies; (2) find a good confessor and tell him all your sins; (3) accuse only yourself, no one else; and (4) leave confession firmly resolved that it is better to die than to sin again. [15] Let us look at each of these steps in detail.

Forgive Your Enemies

Our Lord Jesus Christ taught: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Matt. 11:15). He also said, “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother: then come and offer your gift” (Matt. 5:23-24). Before you can do anything acceptable to God, you must forgive your neighbors, and above all, your enemies. The Apostle John says that, “anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him” (I John 2:9; 3:15).

Saint Cosmas told a story about two men who came to confession. One of them, Peter, had many good deeds and few sins, but he would not forgive men for their offenses against himself. The other, Paul, had many sins but he always forgave others. Because of this, Peter was sent to Hell, while Paul, because he forgave others, was granted Holy Communion. Saint Cosmas says that Peter was like 100 pounds of flour, and his hatred and refusal to forgive others was the yeast which changed it all into the devil’s poison. Paul, on the other hand, was like a pile of kindling, and his forgiving of others was the spark which ignited the whole pile and made it burn brightly for God. [15] So before you do anything else, think about those who have offended you, and then forgive them from the bottom of your heart. In the words of Abba Zeno, “If a man wants God to hear his prayer quickly, then before he prays for anything else, even his own soul, when he stands and stretches out his hands towards God, he must pray with all his heart for his enemies. Through this action, God will hear everything that he asks.” [17]

Actually, this is something you should do every day as part of your daily confession. Saint Epiphanius once met with Abba Hilarion and served him a fowl to eat. Abba Hilarion said, “Forgive me, but since I received the [monastic] habit, I have not eaten meat which has been killed.” Saint Epiphanius answered, “Since I took the [monastic] habit, I have not allowed anyone to go to sleep with a complaint against me, and I have not gone to rest with a complaint against anyone.” Abba Hilarion admitted that Saint Epiphanius’s way of life was better than his. [18] Let us follow Saint Epiphanius’s good example, and never go to bed in a state of enmity with anyone; rather, let us forgive everyone every night in our evening prayers.

Find a Good Confessor and Tell Him All Your Sins

Saint Symeon of Thessalonica says that you must confess all your sins with simplicity and sorrow, and you must promise to correct any injustices and from now on to behave in a godly way. [19] In order to confess all your sins you must review your life since your last confession and see what sorts of falls you have had. Daily confession will make this much easier, since you will remember far more and be aware of more of your sins if you consider them each day.

Your spiritual father may also help you to review your thoughts and actions and to examine yourself by asking you some questions. There are also various other aids that you can use in considering your sins. One approach is to go over the Ten Commandments and the Beatitudes to see how your life compares to their demands; you can also find lists of questions based on them to help in this examination. Another method is to consider the three parts of the soul and see what sorts of sins are characteristic of each: the intelligent part is prone to errors in faith, such as heresy or blasphemy; the incensive part often leads to anger and cursing of others; and the appetitive part produces greed, love of money, envy, jealousy, impurity. [20] There is, however, one special caution which must be observed when you examine yourself to see what your sins are. Saint Mark the Ascetic warns that you should be careful not to go over your sins in too much detail, either in preparing for confession or when confessing them, since dwelling on them too much may rekindle some of the old passions and cause you to fall again. [21] In any case, pray to God to enlighten you and show you your sins as far as you are able to bear this knowledge.

People sometimes get nervous when they hear they must confess all their sins. They think, “What if I forget something? Will God condemn me even more?” Once in a while, you really do forget a sin, and quite often you are ignorant of your real sins because of your spiritual immaturity, but do not let this frighten you. When the priest prays for your forgiveness in the prayer of absolution, he prays that you will also be forgiven for any sins you have not confessed, either because of ignorance or forgetfulness. Of course, if you later remember a sin you forgot to confess, or if you become aware that some past act was sinful, you should tell this to your spiritual father at your next confession.

After reviewing your life and determining your sins, you and your spiritual father should sit down together in a quiet place and talk over your sins. During this conversation, you should not just tell him about the actual sins you have committed, but also about ideas and temptations which have troubled you or about which you are in doubt. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to do this, especially if you come to confession only before Liturgy on Sunday morning. If this is your normal practice, you might try to find a time occasionally when you can have a longer conversation with your spiritual father.

Mention of your spiritual father brings us to the other part of this step. You should try to find an experienced spiritual father, and one for whom you feel trust. Abba Poemen warns us, “Do not lay open your conscience to anyone whom you do not trust in your heart.” [22] There was once a monk who was very tempted. He went to an elder and confessed his sinful thoughts. Before the elder had even heard of the monk’s sinful deeds, he said, “You have lost your soul.” So the monk decided that in that case, there was no point in his staying in the monastery and living such a difficult life. As he was leaving to go back to the world, however, he met Abba Silouan, who was spiritually very experienced and perceptive. He asked the monk what was wrong, so the monk confessed his sinful thoughts again. But Abba Silouan told him the Scriptures do not condemn a person only for thoughts. That encouraged the monk enough that he then told the abba about his sinful deeds. Abba Silouan taught the monk about repentance, and the monk went back to the monastery and became a lamp of virtue. [23] As you can see, that inexperienced elder nearly cost the monk his soul. By the way, being spiritually experienced is not the same thing as being well educated or old. It is possible for a young person to be more spiritually experienced than an old one, and it is actually somewhat more likely that a less highly educated confessor will be humbler and more experienced spiritually. Further, there are laymen who are far more experienced in things of the Spirit than are many priests. At times you will find that people confess their sins to a layman for advice and guidance, and then go to a priest for absolution.

Some cautious priests, knowing their own lack of spiritual experience, will hear confessions and read the prayer of absolution, but will not give any beyond the most general advice, lest they cause harm to the person confessing. If a spiritual father has some experience, however, he should try to help those who confess to him by advising them on how best to deal with their temptations and conquer their passions. In fact, receiving such advice is one of the advantages of confessing to a spiritual father.

You must be careful of a particular temptation which the evil one will often use against you. As Saint Theodorus puts it, “Do not judge the actions of your spiritual father, but obey his commands. For the demons are in the habit of showing you his defects, so that your ears may be deaf to what he tells you.” [24] Your spiritual father is also a human being, with his own sins and weaknesses. Even so, he may be able to see things—or God may show them to him—which will help you if you listen to him. Do not be critical of him or be put off by something he says or does, so that you refuse to listen to his good advice to you.

A spiritual father does not normally give actual “commands” or “obediences” to his spiritual children, but he can help them with advice if they ask for it. Saint Peter of Damascus teaches that “we can trust only him who has received from God the grace of discrimination and who, as Saint Maximos says, has acquired through great humility and long practice of the virtues an intellect blessed with spiritual insight. Such a man is in a position to advise, not everyone, but at least those who seek him out voluntarily and who question him by their own choice… It is because of his humility, and because his questioners seek him out voluntarily, that what he says is stamped on the soul of his listeners.” [25] Sadly enough, Saint Peter remarks that even in his day there was no one who had this discrimination, since no one had the humility that leads to it. [26] How much less likely that you will find such humility and true discrimination today! But do not despair. Rather, discuss your spiritual state with your spiritual father. He cannot and must not dictate to you, but it is very important to be open to his advice. The combination of his advice and your humility in receiving it is often the key to victory over your sins. Once two brothers went to confess to Abba Zeno. One of them had many tears and a great desire for instruction, while the other was indifferent and had no interest in anything the abba had to teach him. Later, when the two monks compared notes, the one who wanted guidance was healed of his sins, but the other was not. [27]

When you come to confession, be careful to avoid another temptation. It is easy to start talking about all sorts of exalted spiritual questions, the meaning of the Scriptures, and so forth, while you somehow neglect to mention your own sins. Once an elder who had heard about Abba Poemen made a long trip to see him. When he was admitted to the abba’s cell, the visitor began talking about all sorts of exalted spiritual matters; but Abba Poemen did not say a word to him. Finally, the visiting elder left and, in great disappointment, told Abba Poemen’s disciple that the abba had not spoken to him at all. When the disciple asked Abba Poemen why he had not talked with the visitor, the abba answered that the visitor knew about sublime spiritual topics, of which he was ignorant, so he had nothing to say. He only knew about the passions and how to struggle with them. The disciple advised the visitor to go again to see Abba Poemen and to ask him about the passions of the soul. When he did so, Abba Poemen replied that now this was something he knew about, and they then had a long talk which was very profitable for the visitor. [28] So when you come to confession, leave theology behind and stick to your passions.

Remember that when you come to confession, you are actually confessing to God; you should approach Him with reverence and godly fear, knowing how holy He is. So often today people are casual and unconcerned in their approach to anyone in authority, and this attitude sometimes carries over into their approach to God. But, when you come to Confession or Holy Communion, think how you would feel if you could actually see the Lord Jesus Christ standing there before you. Then remind yourself that He is in truth there, and approach Him with awe. In the Order of Confession, the priest is told to remind the person confessing, “Brother, inasmuch as thou hast come to me and to God, be not ashamed; for thou speakest not unto me, but unto God, before Whom thou standest.” [29] Now, some people may ask, “Why, then, do I need to have the priest there at all? Can’t I just confess to God?” But the Apostle James instructs us: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). Your spiritual father is present in Confession as a witness so that you really will examine yourself, to give you advice, and also because your sins are also offenses against mankind, of which he is a representative. One of the important products of a full confession to another person is that it leads to humility, which is absolutely essential for any progress at all in the spiritual life. Always remember that your spiritual father has his own sins and trials. He will not judge and condemn you if you open your heart to him. You must not, then, be ashamed to open your life up to him and confess all your sins. The time to be ashamed is when you commit the sin, not when you come to confess it. Often it is the very act of humbling yourself and acknowledging your sin that leads to your triumph over it. There was once a father who had a terrible warfare with temptation for three years, but he was unable to confess it. In his pride and shame he said to himself, “Why reveal my secrets, when I already know what to do?” So, although he often visited his elder and talked to him about other things, he never mentioned this warfare. But since the warfare kept getting worse, he finally decided he had to go and confess it. On the way, he wavered, and he decided, “If no one is there, I will confess, but not otherwise.” When he arrived, the elder was alone, but still he did not confess. Finally, as he was about to leave again without confessing, the elder stopped him and encouraged him to confess. The elder could see he was in difficulty, so he told him, “I am a man of like passions to you. Tell me what is wrong.” At last, the monk confessed his sin, and immediately his heart was lightened and he was freed from that passion. [30]

Saint John Cassian likewise tells of a monk who was a great ascetic, but would not reveal his thoughts to anyone. He was troubled for a long time by dreams which showed him that Judaism was better than Christianity, but he told no one about the dreams, nor did he ask for advice. In the end, he abandoned Christ and became a Jew himself, having been led astray by his pride. True discernment comes only from true humility, which you show by being willing to reveal your thoughts and actions to your spiritual father, rather than trusting in your own wisdom. The very act of revealing them weakens and withers evil thoughts. [31]

Accuse Only Yourself, No One Else

Actually, there are two reasons why you should accuse only yourself at confession. In the first place, when you come to confession, you must not follow the bad example of Adam and Eve and try to blame someone else for your sins; rather, you must take responsibility yourself for your own weakness. Abba Or taught his disciples: “In all temptations, do not complain about anyone else, but say about yourself, ‘These things happen to me because of my sins.’” [32] Abba Moses likewise taught that if a person does not think in his own heart that he is a sinner, then God will not hear him. He said, “When someone is occupied with his own faults, he does not see those of his neighbor.” [33] As long as you are trying to blame someone else for your sins, you are not truly sorry for them—you have not yet acknowledged that you are responsible for them—so God cannot give you the strength to overcome them. It is only when you turn to God, admit your own weakness and sinfulness, and ask for His help, that you will begin to make progress against your sins.

The second reason for accusing only yourself during confession is that you must never reveal another person’s sins. Abba Poemen warns that if you reveal another person’s sins, God will reveal yours. [34] Many people know that a priest is not allowed to tell anyone what he has heard in confession, even at the threat of death. But many do not know that this same rule applies to everyone. If you happen to overhear what someone says in confession, you must never reveal that to anyone. You are bound just as much as the priest is to keep it secret. When Christians learn of someone else’s sins, they should pray for that person; but to reveal the sins and talk about them destroys your own soul. To keep silent about someone else’s sins is all part of not judging others. Saint Isaac the Theban once saw a brother sinning and condemned him in his heart. When the Saint got home, he found an angel blocking the door to his cell. The angel said, “God sent me to ask you where you want to throw the guilty brother you have condemned.” Saint Isaac repented, and the angel told him that he should not judge before God has done so. [35] Another time a group of monks was discussing the sins of one of the brothers. Abba Pior came with a big bag of sand on his back and a small bag of sand hanging down in front. The fathers asked the meaning of this, and he told them that we put our sins—the big bag—behind us so that we will not be troubled by them, and we put the little bag of our brother’s sins in front of us so we will be able to see and judge his sins. This is backwards. [36] Always remember that you are coming to confess your own sins, not to judge your brother. If you do reveal someone else’s sins during confession, you are actually committing another sin in the midst of confession, so how can you hope to be forgiven?

Leave Confession with a Firm Resolution that it is Better to Die than to Sin Again

It is easy to fall into the habit of going to confession without really thinking about what repentance means, but this makes confession worse than meaningless. Repentance is a firm desire and intention not to commit that sin again. Saint Symeon of Thessalonica even declares that if a priest is aware that someone is not really repentant when he comes to confession, he must send that person away without absolution. Otherwise, the priest himself shares in that person’s sin. [37]

“He who conceals his sins does not prosper,” say the Holy Scriptures, “but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Prov. 28:13). Abba Poemen says that God will forgive one who converts from sin. [38] If you have really decided to turn away from your sins and commit them no more, then when the priest reads the prayer of absolution over you, God forgives all your sins and wipes out the very memory of them.

What we find so often is that, while we don’t really like our sins, we do love the things which lead to sin. We want to stop judging other people, but we still enjoy talking about them and hearing about things they do. As Saint Isaac the Syrian teaches, we become enslaved to our passions because we are attached to the causes of our sins. You cannot stop sinning, the Saint explains, unless you hate your sins, and you cannot be forgiven unless you confess them. [39] So you go to confession with a real desire to stop sinning, but you don’t want to give up the things which lead to the sins. A monk once came to his elder and asked for help against lustful thoughts. The monk was sincere in wanting the thoughts to stop, but they did not. When the elder then prayed for enlightenment, he was shown that an angel was waiting to help the monk, but the monk did not ask for help. On the contrary, when the thoughts came he welcomed them and enjoyed them. [40] This monk wanted his sin to go away, but he did not hate it. In fact, he enjoyed the sinful thoughts when they came, even though they were drawing him away from God. In such a case, confession is worthless, since there is no desire to stop sinning. In another case, a monk confessed his helplessness against impure thoughts and asked his elder to pray for his victory over them. After the elder had prayed for him for seven days, the monk said the thoughts were worse than ever. The elder was puzzled, so he prayed to God for an explanation. Satan appeared to him and said that from the first day of the elder’s prayers he had stopped tempting the monk, but the monk had then created his own temptation by eating and drinking too much. [41] If you come to confession and do not really intend to stop sinning, then you would do better to stay away. You are not receiving the forgiveness of your sins at all, but are just mocking God and making your state worse than before.

Now, do not misunderstand this. Sometimes people say, “But, I always have the same sins. Does that mean I should not come to confession?” It can be discouraging to find that you have the same sins each time you come to confession, but, as one priest says, “What do you want—new sins?” No matter how weak you are and no matter how many times you fall into the same sins, if you want help in overcoming your sins, then come and confess them, asking for this help. But be ready to work to overcome them. Do not just think that they will go away on their own while you continue to feed them and to enjoy the things that cause them. If, on the other hand, you have no desire to struggle and to avoid the situations, people, and things that have led you to sin in the past, then you might better stay away from confession, because in this case confession only adds more sins to your burden. For confession to produce forgiveness, you must hate your sin and want to conquer it by all the means at your disposal.

What To Do When You Have No Spiritual Father

For many Orthodox Christians, what they have read so far may be more frustrating than helpful. In our current circumstances many Orthodox Christians live far away from a church and may not see a priest more than once or twice a year. In other cases, while they may have a priest at hand, they may not feel able to approach him as a spiritual guide, or he himself may not be willing to provide such advice and direction. In the modern world there is a fearful shortage of priests with the experience and the discrimination to be spiritual fathers. Sometimes this problem can be solved by occasionally telephoning a spiritual father or writing to him, but that is frequently unsatisfactory too. This same situation has often arisen in the past, since there have never been enough discriminating spiritual fathers. Many centuries ago there was an ascetic who served as spiritual father to some monks; as a result of hearing one monk’s confession, he fell into sin himself. Where he was living, there was no one to whom he could open his thoughts, so he decided to go where he could find someone to whom he could confess, although that would leave no one to hear the thoughts of the monks where he was then living. As he was starting to leave, God sent him a vision in the form of a young virgin who advised him to stay where he was, to live with God’s grace, and to learn the truth from it. This is what he did, and he was healed from his sin. [42]

From this example, we learn that when you have no one to advise you, you can call on God to send you His grace to help you. Of course, you must be careful not to fall into the error of ignoring a guide when you have one available and saying that you will have only God for your director. God will not help in this special way when there is a guide at hand whom you choose to disregard. There is a story of a man who was trapped on the roof of his house in a flood. A boat came to rescue him, but he refused, saying that he was waiting for God to save him from the flood. Later a helicopter came, but he turned it down also, waiting for God to save him. Then the flood waters came up higher, and the man drowned. When he came to judgment, he asked the Lord why He had not saved him from the flood. The Lord replied, “Who do you think sent the boat and the helicopter?” If He gives you a guide, He expects you to listen to him. But if He does not give you one, then He will graciously be your guide if you approach Him in sincerity and humility.

Similarly, Saint Peter of Damascus says that if you have no advisor, you should take Christ as your counsellor. Ask Him with humility and heartfelt prayer about your every thought and action. If you are sincere and have as your only purpose the doing of God’s will, then God Himself will teach you what to do. He may do this in different ways: directly, through inspiration; by means of some person (sometimes this may be the priest to whom you go to confession); by circumstances; or by the Holy Scriptures. [43] As an example of how God can send you guidance, remember the Ethiopian eunuch who was riding in his chariot and reading the Prophet Isaiah. The Holy Spirit sent Saint Philip the Apostle to him to ask if he understood what he was reading. The eunuch said he did not, so Saint Philip explained to him how the Prophet was speaking about our Lord Jesus Christ. After this explanation, the eunuch asked to be baptized (Acts 8:26-39). In another instance, from the nineteenth century, a young man came to confess to the Russian Elder Amvrosy of Optina. While he was waiting, he was very upset and confused about how to confess his sin. Fr. Joseph, the elder’s cell attendant, gave him a book of essays, saying, “Here, this is a good book to read before confession.” The young man opened the book to a passage which was exactly what he needed, and he finished it just as he was called for confession. [44] When you ask the Lord Jesus Christ in this way for guidance, you must give up your own will and live in God. You must hope in faith for an answer from Him, and you must be patient for that answer to come. Do not assume that you are immediately going to receive a revelation in answer to your request. Saint Peter of Damascus says that it may take years for the answer to come, but it will come. In the meantime, be humble enough to admit that you do not know about the matter, so that you do not fall into either of the possible temptations: disbelieving an angel who is bringing you the answer, or trusting a devil who is trying to mislead you. [45] In words of great comfort, Saint Peter says that if you have no guide, but do try to act with dispassion, even things you may do that are not so good will be counted to your credit for two reasons: because you are perplexed about how best to follow God, and because you have God in mind and have the intention to follow Him to the best of your ability. [46]

If you have the sincere desire to conquer your sins, God is always ready and waiting to help you. If possible, take all four hairs from Saint Cosmas’s beard: forgive your enemies, confess all your sins to an experienced spiritual father, accuse no one but yourself for your falls, and have the firm intention to die rather than to sin again. But if you cannot grasp the second hair in full because you have no spiritual father, at least take the other three hairs and make a full confession of your sins to God Himself, asking Him to provide you with the guidance you need in the absence of a human spiritual father. In either case, God will see your humility and your sorrow for your sins and will grant you forgiveness and guidance in living with, in, and for Him in the future.

 

FOOTNOTES

1. Blessed Theophylact, Blagovestnik [in Russian], S. Pctersburg, p. 679.

2. Vaporis, N. M., Father Kosmas, The Apostle of the Poor, Brookline, Massachusctts, 1977, p. 111.

3. Menounou, I. V., Kosma tou Aitolou Didakhes [in Greek], Athens, 1979, p. 163.

4. Tal'berg, N., Istoriya Khristianskoy Tserkvi [in Russian], Jordanville, New York, 1964, pp. 98-99 gives a brief history of this period.

5. Saint Symeon of Thessalonica, Ta Apanta [in Greek], Thessalonica, 1882, pp. 205-206.

6. Ward, B., The Sayings of the Desert Fathers, London, 1975, p. 46.

7. Ibid., p. 152.

8. Symeon the New Theologian, The Discourses, New York, 1980, pp. 95-97.

9. Vaporis, op. cit., p. 66.

10. Ward, op. cit., p. 152.

11. Euergetinos [in Greek], Athens, 1983, Vol. I, pp. 428-429.

12. Ward, op. cit., p. 184.

13. Philokalia, London, 1979, 1981, 1984, Vol. I, p. 26.

14. Philokalia, Vol. 11, p. 226.

15. Menounou, op. cit., p. 229; Vaporis, op. cit., pp. 64-66.

16. Vaporis, op. cit., pp. 66-67.

17 Ward, op. cit., p. 57.

18. Ibid., p. 49.

19. Op. cit., p. 210.

20. Saint Symeon of Thessalonica, op. cit., p. 211.

21. Philokalia, Vol. I, p. 138.

22. Ward, op. cit., p. 163.

23. Euergetinos, Vol. 1, pp. 286-287.

24. Philokalia, Vol TI, p. 21.

25. Philokalia, Vol. III, p. 183.

26. Philokalia, Vol. III, p. 185.

27. Euergetinos, Vol. I, pp. 285-286.

28. Ward, op. cit., pp. 140-141.

29. Manual of Eastern Orthodox Prayers, London, 1945, p. 55.

30. Khampake, Th., Gerontikon [in Greek], Athens, 1962, pp. 343-344.

31. Philokalia, Vol. I, pp. 102-104.

32. Ward, op. cit., p. 207.

33. Ibid., p. 120.

34. Ibid., p. 147.

35. Ibid., p. 93.

36. Ibid., p. 168.

37. Op. cit., p. 209.

38. Ward, op. cit., p. 150.

39. The Ascetical Homilies of Saint Isaac the Syrian, Boston, 1984, p. 152.

40. Euergetinos, Vol. I, p. 309.

41. Ibid., pp. 309-310.

42. Euergetinos, Vol. 1, p. 310.

43. Philokalia, Vol. III, p. 149.

44. The Elder Joseph of Optina, Boston, 1984, p. 65.

45. Philokalia, Vol. III, pp. 269-270.

46. Ibid., p. 243.

 

Source: The True Vine, Number 1, Spring 1989, pp. 30-50. Footnote numbering combined.