About Christian Struggle

By John Kalomiros

 

 

The Christian faith is a living faith and, as such, it is transferred live from parent to child and from teacher to student. Everyone who encounters the faith, if he actually has a love for it, maintains it as something precious and, respecting the one who willed it to him, does not add to it or detract anything from it. This pattern of Tradition is holy and it is a wellspring of life in Christ, flowing into the Church.

An adherence to the elements of tradition must not, however, result in an ossification of Christian life into some kind of formal mold. Such a pathetic situation prevents one from entering into a content life and spiritual growth. Unfortunately, it often happens that the elements of Tradition in the Church are used as an excuse to form a conservative stagnation of life and draw it into a shell where every aspect of life is predetermined and laid out in minute detail. Even some well-intentioned Christians sometimes make the mistake of using the Holy Scripture in order to set standards of life in conditions where life itself has been suffocating and spiritual struggle has lost its strength.

It is important for us, the Christians of our era, to realize the difference between two opposing approaches to the faith. The first is to practice the elements of tradition and teachings of the Holy Fathers in a way that they are living, vital and illuminating to our lives The second is the pursuit of a psychological security, an adherence to some individual certainties, a comfort to a conservative culture that often is false Christianity. It is one thing to look for a light and compass in our life in order to go forward creatively. However, it is quite a different thing to refuse to follow a personal path of internal search and self-discovery, using the excuse that everything is already known and clear in the framework of our holy tradition. We all have fallen into this trap quite often and when we do, we see no progress in our spiritual struggle.

Many times, we find that we are unable to make real changes to our lives. Even when we are desiring more spiritual fruit, even when stagnation burdens our life, we make neither a spiritual nor a practical effort. We are reluctant to move forward in a way that will bring about positive, radical changes for us. Our pursuits and efforts simply return, as if in bondage to determinism, to the point where they began.

Our inactivity towards a creative examination, and toward real change where necessary, is deeply conservative and has nothing to do with Orthodoxy. Unfortunately, this stagnation pertains not only to some theoretical concepts, but to the whole view and way of life. It is a way of life that leads us to hold on to uncreative and stagnant cliches. These cliches are about codes of life, hard cast in communicating, in speaking and in attitude, and they often indelibly mark our lives and create wounds that are difficult to heal.

Too often, we cover up our own inability or unwillingness to take life upon ourselves and set our goals with a spiritual perspective, by claiming a full reliance and trust in God Who, we may claim, guides our lives. However, it often happens that behind this alibi there is an inability or unwillingness to take any personal, responsible initiatives. Let us look at an example. We say in our prayers "teach me the way in which I should go." We can repeat this prayer with two different attitudes. We can say it with a feeling, that since God will actually guide us, there is no need to concern ourselves with responsibility for our lives. While it is an attitude that shows trust, it is likely also an indication of indifference. It does not result in any change in us or the undertaking of any painful effort.

Another way to say this prayer, is with real fervor of heart, with a sense of trepidation that we are not worthy of the guidance we ask for and with the fear that we may end up not following such guidance. In this second case we are not content with a dry and brief prayer but we ourselves undertake the responsibility of self-examination, contemplation, redeeming of wrong situations and vigilance, hoping that God will be merciful to us. This same self-examination is also an avenue of inner change. If this struggle is real and sincere, it marks man with an indelible imprint. After such a struggle, a man does not recognize himself any more, he can see that he is a new person and realizes that he was only an immature child before. This process entails real spiritual suffering, it is painful and, therefore, most people prefer to avoid it, sticking to the security of well-known territory. This psychological adherence to already well-known things is another definition of conservatism.

In both the above cases, a man prays to God. In one case he prays pathetically, unwilling to struggle and change himself. In the other, the man invokes God to lead him through an internal process, a journey into the unknown, a personal risk: leading him, and not simply revealing to him what to do through some miracle.

Let us look at another example. Someone, wondering about the real meaning of an issue or matter, asks God to enlighten him. He opens the Holy Scriptures, as a good Christian would, and also locates relevant words of the holy fathers on the matter in question. He may think that, in these words themselves he has found the quintessence of life, the rule of orthodoxy, the end of his personal quest. He does not concern himself about the deeper meaning of the texts or about the experience which underlies them. Moreover, he is not endeavoring to examine what he reads under a prism of a total theological perspective. This man will remain an adherent to fragmentary phrases, to a rigid frame of mind. He will probably never reflect on the disposition he has formed, for he believes that through his reading he has discerned everything about the truth. Such a person will then apply his incomplete, often isolated, ideas, void of the spirit in which the holy fathers spoke them or in which the passages of Scripture were written. He will become frozen into this mindset, and yet may think that he has the key to judging all issues.

There is another, better way for one to read the writings of the holy fathers. This reader will view them as examples of people who have lived a life in Christ and have been illumined by God. In this case, the man is seeking the spirit of fathers, not just single views and words. He is not in a hurry to form an opinion, rather he perseveres in studying, struggling and striving in order to gain a personal understanding and experience. His perception is developed day by day.

Alas to people who do not follow such a dynamic process, but stagnate in adherence to "truths" they think they have mastered by reading some isolated texts or listening to other people who have walked a genuine path.

Let us see another example of a latent conservatism that holds us back from following a spiritually abundant process. We often speak about our spiritual struggle as Christians. We underline it and say that our salvation depends on it. What do we actually mean by saying "spiritual struggle"?

In the minds of many people, the spiritual struggle takes place in a "frozen" form of effort. They think that our spiritual effort is completed in an external practice of virtues and a simple participation in Church life. Prayer, studying, fasting, participation in divine services, keeping Christ's commandments; everything that, surely, we have to be careful about as Christians. However, it is the crystallization of our spiritual struggle into specific practices and our reliance on them that might be the reason for a fruitless effort. This is especially so if these practices have become the essence of our struggle.

Our struggle has to be in every way dynamic. "Dynamic" indicates an inner life and motivation in following these practices, which bears fruit through time and marks a "route" that transforms us while we mature. Wisdom and maturity which occur in the process of time, are blessed in the Holy Scriptures. Alas, such dynamism and maturing may be constricted because of an adherence to conservative forms and strictures. In the security of the forms themselves, we may often lack concern and daily vigilance toward everything that is truly essential. How is it possible to move forward when we do not feel, whether asleep and awake, a thirst and agony of heart to make our life meaningful? How is it possible to pray sincerely when our heart is not seeking? What is it that will impel us forward when everything seems to be ensured and provided?

If our effort is static and is simply "being practiced," then this means that when the forms are not being practiced, the struggle does not exist. In that case, we have a strange perception of what a spiritual struggle is. But, if man struggles with a true thirstiness for learning and wisdom, he will be led to a knowledge and revelation of God which is genuine and true, because it comes from man's participation within true life and is not only associated with abstract ideas and codes of life.  For sincere Christians, the participation in Church life opens windows of knowledge, perception and interpretation of the world that are not available to other people. One who walks honestly in such a path of inquiry and self-discovery and knowledge of the world and God and of that which is essential, is advancing in his salvation. This is a struggle similar to that of bees, which gather from every flower all that is really of worth, leaving the rest behind.

What is the criterion for this selection? The criterion for an honest pursuit should be our conscience. Our conscience is a constant remembrance ("alithia" in Greek is non-forgetfulness) of those things that achieve an actual victory and an essential profit. And what are those things? Everything that leads us, each one of us personally, Heavenward. We should not identify "conscience" with shapes, cliches and rules which have been imprinted in our minds, rather we must perceive it as a recollection of Heaven. This living and vital remembrance is the conscience. Everything else is nothing but forms which have been cultivated by culture, of any authoritative education. All these have an impact on the human heart but do not always help man to find his true way. We see that what saved the thief on his cross was a faint nostalgic consciousness of Heaven. This occurrence that took place during the crucifixion of Christ speaks about the essence of salvation. We also see that this nostalgia about true things is referred to as "repentance." That is to say, the repentance that saves us is the process of life based in our conscience, that is based in the remembrance of Paradise. This remembrance sustained Adam, the first teacher of repentance.

Many people identify repentance with the control that guilt exercises over our soul. This is a very slippery way of understanding the mystery of salvation. Guilt is mostly a matter of upbringing, of learned judgment, and has nothing to do with the essence of life and salvation. Rather it often serves to hold man back from walking a genuine path of gradual knowledge of God and the world.

All the above observations are not only for Christians but for all people. However, people who ignore God cannot go forward with awareness, but only intuitively. They do not have the same opportunities to experience an acquaintance with God and His Kingdom. These people will be judged according to whatever knowledge they do have.

But sometimes we, the Christians of the last times, do not even try to proceed toward a path of knowledge. We feel a sense of security in just applying some rules and avoiding any risk that takes us beyond a well-worn path. We hide behind this illusion of security. We tend to subvert our minds to patterns of thought and attitudes which are forced on us from outside and are not the result of a living experience and freedom. We parrot our lives and lose even the primitive ability of common sense. We are afraid that if we deviate from "the program of our salvation", we shall "lose our soul". And we do not understand that this cast of life, this refusal to practice our freedom and our conscience, amounts to a refusal to struggle.

Translated from the original Greek by Dr. George S. Gabriel, slightly revised.