A Brief Summary of Thoughts That Lead to Repentance

St. Paisius (Velichkovsky) of Neamţ

 

 

Remember, my soul, the dread and awesome wonder: that your Creator, for your sake, became man and was pleased to suffer for your salvation. His Angels tremble, the Cherubim are filled with awe, the Seraphim are afraid, and all the heavenly hosts glorify Him unceasingly, while you, wretched soul, remain in sloth. At least from this moment arise, my beloved soul, and do not postpone holy repentance, contrition of heart, and the fulfillment of a penance (epitimia) for your sins. By postponing it year after year, month after month, and day after day, you will eventually cease altogether to desire heartfelt repentance, and you will find no one to have compassion upon you. Oh, with what anguish you will then begin to repent, but without success. Since you have the opportunity today to do some good, do not postpone holy repentance until tomorrow, my beloved soul, for you do not know what this day will bring forth or what calamity may befall you this night. You do not know what the day or the night will bring you: whether a long life lies before you, or whether you will suddenly and unexpectedly meet with a grievous and swift death. Now, my beloved soul, is the time for endurance; now is the time to endure affliction; now is the time to keep the commandments and practice the virtues; now is the time for sweet weeping and tearful lamentation. If you truly desire to be saved, my soul, love afflictions and groanings as once you loved repose. Live as though dying daily. Your life will soon pass away like an ordinary shadow before the sun, and you will vanish without trace. The days of our life dissolve, as it were, into the air. Do not yield even before the most grievous affliction. In your relations with others, whether the affliction is unreasonable or even justified, do not give yourself over to sorrow, do not be troubled, and do not flee; rather, regard yourself as dust beneath their feet. Without this, you cannot be saved or escape eternal torment. For our life soon comes to an end, just as a single day passes away. Unless a person devoutly crushes himself through the virtues, or sacrifices his life for the fulfilment of the commandments of God and the traditions of the Fathers, he cannot be saved.

Therefore, my beloved soul, remember all the holy Prophets, Apostles, Martyrs, Hierarchs, Venerable Fathers, Righteous Ones, Fools-for-Christ, and all who from ages past have been well pleasing to God. Where have you found saints who did not subject the flesh to the spirit, or who did not suffer amid grievous calamities and cruel afflictions? They endured countless troubles, bore hunger and thirst, keeping vigil and praying by day and by night; they possessed humility and contrition of heart, childlike guilelessness, and every mercy; they helped others in every affliction and need, and gave various gifts and alms according to their ability. What they did not desire for themselves and what they hated, they did not do to another. With obedience, like purchased slaves, they labored not as for man, but as for God, with wise simplicity—appearing to be without wisdom and to know nothing, but attending only to their salvation. O man! Death lies before you; if you struggle, you will be honored with eternal life in the age to come. Virtue is acquired by compelling oneself in every way. Therefore, if you wish to overcome the passions, cut off pleasures; but if you pursue food, you will spend your life in the passions. The soul will not be humbled unless the flesh is deprived of bread; it is impossible to deliver the soul from perdition while protecting your body from discomfort. Therefore, let us return to the first point: if you wish, my soul, to be saved, to traverse that sorrowful path described above, to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and to receive eternal life, then make your flesh lean, taste voluntary bitterness, and endure grievous afflictions, as all the saints tasted and endured them. When a person prepares himself and makes a covenant with himself to endure for God’s sake every affliction that befalls him, then afflictions, every hardship, and every assault from demons and men appear light and painless to him. He does not fear death, and nothing can separate such a one from the love of Christ. You have heard, my beloved soul, how the Holy Fathers lived their lives! Ah, my soul! Imitate them at least a little. Did they not shed tears? Alas, my soul! Were they not sorrowful, thin, and exhausted in body? Alas, my soul! Did they not suffer bodily illnesses, grievous wounds, and lamentation of soul with tears? Alas, my soul! Were they not clothed in bodies as infirm as ours? Alas, my soul! Did they not desire what is beautiful, sweet, and easy in this world, and every bodily repose? Yes, they did desire these things, and their bodies truly suffered; but they exchanged their desires for endurance and their afflictions for future joy. Once and for all they cut everything off, accounted themselves as dead, and mercilessly afflicted themselves in the spiritual struggle. Do you see, my soul, how the Holy Fathers labored, finding no repose amid every hardship, subjecting the flesh to the spirit, fulfilling all the other commandments of God, and being saved? But you, wretched soul, are unwilling to compel yourself in the least; you grow faint from small labors, become despondent, never remember the hour of death, and do not weep over your sin. Rather, my miserable soul, you have grown accustomed to overeating, drunkenness, and sloth. Do you not know that you have voluntarily consigned yourself to torments? And you endure nothing—how, then, do you wish to be saved? At least from this moment arise, my beloved soul, and do what I tell you. If you cannot labor as the Holy Fathers did, then at least begin according to your strength. Serve everyone with humility and simplicity of heart; reproaching your infirmity and condemning yourself, say: Woe to you, my soul, accursed one; woe to you, filthy one; woe to you, utterly defiled, slothful, negligent, drowsy, and hard-hearted one; woe to you, lost soul. Thus, little by little, it will be moved to compunction, shed tears, come to itself, and repent.

 

Russian source:

https://azbyka.ru/otechnik/Paisij_Velichkovskij/pouchenija-slova-ustav-i-zhitie-startsa-paisija-velichkovskogo/#0_13