Elder Seraphim of Karoulia (+1981): On Prayer and Watchfulness

 

From the notebooks of Hieroschemamonk Seraphim of Karoulia (+1981)

On "Delusion"

In spiritual life, to avoid falling into "delusion," one must live "simply" — accepting everything as it is, that is, acting in all things according to the true state of affairs and one’s own measure. St. Seraphim said about this: "Virtue is not a pear; you cannot eat it all at once," meaning that any spiritual achievement desired by a person cannot be attained in any way other than the way it is generally attained according to spiritual laws ("strive lawfully"). This is closely tied to knowing one’s condition and measure and basing one’s labors and efforts on that measure to strive for the desired goal. Otherwise — this is where all "delusion" begins!

Not knowing oneself and therefore not basing one's spiritual life on one’s actual state and measure, a person steps onto a false path, which is the beginning of "delusion."

When a person, not knowing their measure, does not proceed from it, they "do not stand in truth" (as the Lord said about the devil). Consequently, they enter the realm of fantasy and imagination, which is the beginning of "delusion." "Delusion is the loss of truth," defines Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov. This loss of truth begins with the loss of truth about one’s actual, internal state. From this point, a person begins to make errors in their calculations and plans for their spiritual life, setting goals that do not correspond to their internal state and needs (in what is true, proper, and appropriate for their state and measure of spiritual maturity). Instead, they take on what they desire or deem necessary. A young sapling, recently planted, cannot bear fruit. First, it must grow, then blossom, and only then will it bear fruit — in its proper and lawful time!

Thus, St. Gregory of Sinai defines "delusion" as follows: "If some have gone astray, having become impaired in mind (which is ‘delusion,’ the loss of truth), know that they suffered this due to self-will and high-mindedness."

What is this "self-will and high-mindedness" of which the saint speaks as the cause of "delusion"?

These are improper inclinations toward spiritual activity, due to which a person does not do what is truly necessary for their proper spiritual growth. That is, because of self-will and high-mindedness, a person begins to act in a way that is inconsistent with their actual, internal state — they need one thing, but they do another.

Thus, ignorance of one’s internal state—when a person does not see what is happening within themselves, does not know their spiritual maturity (living in "darkness" regarding this), does not reflect on it, and does not strive to first of all understand it—leads them to think (imagine) that everything in their inner life is well. As a result, they focus only on the descriptions of external actions that the saints performed for their progress and salvation. However, the point is that the saints saw what was happening within themselves and understood what they needed as a result. Therefore, they chose actions that corresponded to their internal state—what was necessary for correcting their shortcomings and for filling what was still lacking in their pursuit of perfection. In contrast, someone who does not see themselves or their internal state sets goals without any connection to their inner reality—based purely on their imagination.

Thus, the cause of self-will and high-mindedness is ignorance of oneself.

Not knowing himself, a person thinks he can take on any spiritual endeavor he desires and chooses—so he selects for himself "what is best"! And he pushes forward with all his strength to achieve it, though it is not what he needs at all because it does not lead to his true growth. Usually, it even does the opposite—it harms him.

For example, if someone’s house is on fire, but instead of extinguishing the fire, they start digging in the garden or doing something else—something useful, perhaps, but entirely inappropriate while their house is burning. Similarly, one who does not know himself (and remember, a person in this world exists in a state of spiritual fall and darkness until healed) does not know what he truly needs and takes on what he has imagined for himself. Even if he chooses from what the saints did, the saints acted based on their own needs, knowing themselves. But this person, not knowing himself, does whatever he desires. That is the difference.

In the state of the fall, it is generally characteristic of every person to think highly of themselves, believing that everything within them is in order. They think this way because they do not see what is actually happening within them.

And since everything seems in order, they feel free to do whatever they choose for themselves. This would indeed be the case if they were inwardly healthy—but that is precisely what they lack. When, then, have they undergone healing, if they do not see their inner sickness or know what medicine is needed to cure it?

The sickness of the fall is such that a person acts in all things out of self-love and, consequently, operates based on personal attachments—this applies to all aspects of life, including the spiritual.

Not seeing themselves as they truly are, they "imagine" themselves to be good and believe everything within them is in order. Thus, having chosen a goal they like, they strive toward it with all their might, thinking that the key lies only in exerting more effort and persistence without yielding. In this way, being mistaken about themselves (what the Fathers call "opinion"), a person, acting out of self-indulgence and personal attachment, behaves with self-will and high-mindedness, and from this begins their "delusion."

Therefore, a person who desires to live a proper spiritual life must, above all, come to know themselves! Of course, if a person is not yet ready, how can they see themselves? This belongs to a fairly advanced spiritual maturity and does not appear immediately or simply by desire. Thus, hearing from the Fathers that we are "in the fall," we must direct our attention to this. The Lord says in the Gospel, "Watch yourselves." We should observe our improper actions, words, and even thoughts, and through this, personally recognize this "fall" within ourselves. Since we do not yet see this clearly and in detail, we must believe that we are corrupted and that much evil is hidden within us, influencing us and guiding our lives in almost every instance. We must believe this, remember it, and be cautious in our words and deeds. Believing in this truth and proceeding in all things with the conviction that evil is hidden within us and acts powerfully, we should always account for this and strive to notice it in ourselves. Then, having become convinced of this, a person "stands in truth" in their life, humbling themselves and reproaching themselves—partly because they see their improper actions and thoughts, and partly because, while not yet seeing everything clearly, they believe it to be true.

In this way, they no longer hold any "opinion" of themselves, nor engage in self-will or high-mindedness, and are therefore safe from "delusion."

By recognizing their shortcomings, a person strives to overcome them and acts accordingly, resisting these flaws. At this point, proper spiritual life begins within them—far from "delusion"—in humility, sorrow, and the struggle against their own evil. From this arises true spiritual progress because, in battling their own evil and sin, they thereby please God, who desires to save humanity (from what?—from evil, sin, and the torment and death that result from sin). Thus, the person becomes worthy of God's mercy and help, and grace is sent to them, illuminating and healing the sickness of the fall.

"God resists the proud (those who imagine themselves to be something) but gives grace to the humble." Then true spiritual life begins because the person has recognized their illness, is being treated, and is approaching healing. This is proper spiritual life—drawing closer to God by overcoming one’s own evil. Then the blessing of the Lord rests upon their works, and delusion is far from them. "Whatever they do shall prosper... for their will is in the law of the Lord, and on His law, they meditate day and night," and seeing within themselves a violation of this law, they struggle. For this, God shows favor toward them and offers His help.

The greater misfortune is not so much that a person is in darkness and in a fallen state but that they do not think about it, do not begin with faith in this truth in order to notice the manifestations of the hidden evil within themselves and to resist it, and thus remain unhealed. We find in all the writings of the Fathers that the root of evil and sin lies within the person themselves and stems from not knowing themselves. "Know yourself," said St. Seraphim in this sense, speaking to those who take on tasks unsuitable for their inner state. "Above all, we need humility of wisdom"—again, this essential point is emphasized repeatedly by the Fathers. "There is no other way but self-reproach," which, once again, comes from self-knowledge, from which humility and repentance are born.

On Freeing the Heart from Earthly "Vanity"

The very labor of the work of salvation, which produces movement from earth to heaven, lies in the heart’s departure from, that is, its rejection of, the earthly things familiar and pleasing to it—for the sake of God, for the sake of the life to come. This occurs through faith, through faith that there will indeed be a future life and that this departure is required for it, for this is precisely what "leaving behind" entails.

Why? Because a person lives by their heart—it is with the heart that one loves, becomes attached to everything that is pleasant and familiar, to what it agrees with and accepts. Where the heart is, there also is the entire inner person. "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Matt. 6:21).It is precisely through sin that one perishes, and sin consists in attachment to the earthly, or more specifically, to what is displeasing to God. One who is "attached" to the earthly is no longer attached to God: "You cannot serve two masters" (Luke 16:13). The heart is indivisible—when it loves one thing, it leaves the other. Being bound to the earthly, it can no longer move toward the heavenly.

Consider and see that even in temporal, earthly life, a person lives within a circle of familiar impressions, sensations, and experiences, rejecting some and striving toward others—how?—with the heart. If the heart truly loves the heavenly, that is, if it is drawn to it and becomes attached to it with its sympathy and desire—which is the heart’s proper work—only then does it begin to truly move toward it. And from that earthly circle of impressions, in which the heart usually dwells and which holds it back from living in the heavenly, it turns away because it no longer lives by earthly experiences but by heavenly ones.

To experience the heavenly is precisely the "departure" from the earthly to heaven, to the angels, who in heaven experience the heavenly. Hence the expressions: "a heavenly man" and "an earthly angel." In such a state, a person lives by the "heavenly," leaving the "earthly" behind in their heart. The proper work of the heart is its "taste" for something; for one who is being saved, this taste is for the spiritual—a "spiritual taste" (from The Path to Salvation by Bishop Theophan).

Thus, take note that the earthly, the familiar, and the pleasant hold you back from the journey to the eternal, heavenly homeland. From this, we can understand the essence of the "ascetic labor" of the saints: they renounced (a renunciation that happens in the heart) what was familiar and pleasant, replacing it with the life of the age to come—what it will be—through faith, "bitterly overcoming their senses" with an austere life. For the heart desires what is familiar to it, but the person, by will, reason, and faith, does not allow it, instead directing it toward the heavenly. Over time, however, what is initially unfamiliar becomes pleasant, as Bishop Ignatius says. Then the ascetic struggle comes to an end, for the heart becomes accustomed to the spiritual and begins to live by it on its own, requiring no further compulsion. The heart becomes satisfied with the heavenly, having acquired a taste for it.

This is precisely how the movement toward heaven is accomplished "day by day," as the heart gradually leaves behind what is familiar to it—unique to each individual, yet in essence very similar for all people, because it is earthly and accessible to the senses. The nature of humanity is the same for everyone, for all are born into this earthly world and grow accustomed to it, and it is this attachment that must be abandoned in the journey toward the eternal.

Therefore, pay attention to your heart: what does it live by? It is there that you must cool its attachment—but not aimlessly or thoughtlessly. Instead, replace the object of its affection with something heavenly, and do so for the sake of God, that is, for what is heavenly and eternal, for what pleases God and draws you closer to Him. Direct your heart and motivate it toward this goal. The heart must be cooled toward what is familiar and earthly by redirecting its focus to something better. This is the essence of the movement toward the eternal.

Thus, "attend to yourself" (to your heart)—this is the "work," the patristic "working out of salvation." This is also the Jesus Prayer, which is connected with this and transforms into unceasing "remembrance of God" and "love of God"—which is the essence of the unceasing Jesus Prayer. This is what it means to "live with God." When attention to God, to the Lord, intensifies, the heart cools toward the earthly—this is the "work." When you know, remember, and do this, then the work of the journey to heaven is accomplished simultaneously with the striving toward God (which begins with remembrance of Him) and the cooling of the heart toward the earthly (which holds back the inner person from God). It is then that the ascent takes place.

People have become heirs to vanity because they have fallen away from the heavenly and, in their fallen state, are drawn to the earthly; their hearts live by what is earthly. And how can one escape this? The choice is either to close one’s eyes to it and forever live in the earthly or, knowing how the earthly ends, learn to live by the heavenly, by the eternal.

But how can you live by the heavenly when your heart, through the fall of man, has been transformed into something earthly and lives by the earthly? To heal it, to cool it toward the earthly, and to ignite within it the heavenly fire, you must not cease attending to this ailing heart so as to cleanse it of all earthly attachments. Thus, until this cleansing is accomplished, "vanity" is not taken away from a person. For it is through "vanity" that the treatment of attachments to the earthly becomes possible—vanity reveals them. Otherwise, that is, without the actions associated with vanity, the enslavement of the heart will remain hidden and inaccessible to liberation, though it is present! And it will not disappear on its own. This is why vanity persists for a long time, even until the heart is cleansed of earthly attachments, which deprive it of eternity. As long as you live by the earthly, you do not live by the eternal. But whoever ceases to take pleasure in the earthly will begin to partake in blessedness.

And yet, a person thinks they have ended up in circumstances of "vanity" by chance and recklessly tries to rid themselves of it—recklessly, that is, without cleansing themselves or being freed from the bondage of the earthly. Well, suppose you free yourself from "vanity"—from earthly tasks—and then what? The heart remains attached by its passions to the earthly, meaning you will still be in captivity, bound to the earth. "The earth and all its works will be burned up" (2 Peter 3:10), and what will happen to those who are clinging to it? This is where premature liberation from "vanity" leads—to a lack of healing and destruction. Even earthly tasks are called "vanity" only when they are carried out without remembrance of God, meaning without Him, in forgetfulness, being carried away by them, without concern for salvation or engaging in liberating work. Then, indeed, they are "vanity"!

But if, under the cover of these tasks, the work of liberation is being carried out—through inner labor amidst these tasks—then they are no longer "vanity" but a means of freeing oneself from earthly bondage. Try to free yourself otherwise, when your heart is earthly, and to transform it into something heavenly is impossible. There is no other path, and the chains remain within it.

But through "vanity"—"all the workers of iniquity shall be scattered, that they may perish forever and ever" (Psalm 91:8)—that is, a person's attachments become evident, and thus they become accessible for eradication.

So, even as you strive for stillness, know that it is not so much external circumstances that hold you back from it as the hidden attachment to the earthly still within you—that is, your heart still lives by what is earthly and familiar. What benefit, then, will stillness bring you in such a state? What benefit will there be from renouncing earthly activity? You will remain in captivity, unhealed, and will lose the opportunity to cleanse yourself. You do not yet have a striving for the heavenly that would overcome the earthly life of your heart, and you are avoiding the path that leads to this—cleansing from the earthly. The desert, by itself, does not cleanse passions but rather lulls them to sleep. However, this "sleep" is not their disappearance. What will happen when they "awaken" in the face of temptation?

Therefore, understand the benefit of earthly tasks ("vanity") when they are combined with spiritual labor. And if stillness is not yet granted to you, continue preparing yourself for it. Preparation consists in purification, and purification consists in recognizing your attachments and rejecting them from your heart, which takes place during earthly tasks. For attachments live and act within these tasks, and in them they become sufficiently visible. Letting go of these tasks for the sake of God weakens the attachments and, over time, destroys them. Both are necessary! That the passions be active (since they already exist), and that they be rejected through dissatisfaction, which occurs when pleasant tasks are periodically abandoned (by faith, for the sake of God), causing the heart to push them away. It is through this rejection that they are weakened, and thus the purification of the heart is accomplished.

Purification is purification from passions... as it is said: "God is the God of the heart." Passions are eradicated during their activity, but when they are hidden and inactive, they are inaccessible for eradication—they remain! It is through actions that they manifest and operate, which is why actions are necessary for the eradication of passions.

Wisdom lies in avoiding the depths of the passions while they are still strong, for their depths are dangerous and may lead to ruin (falling). However, one must allow them to manifest only to the extent that one has the strength to restrain them and reject them from the heart. Passions are strengthened by the heart’s consent—they are "nourished" by consent—and they disappear through rejection because they have no substance in themselves. It is the "corrupted will" that is the cause of their manifestation and appearance. Thus, the heart’s rejection of them destroys them—the heart itself gives them life or takes it away! This is the essence of spiritual "labor" in the midst of actions.

Consider also the teaching of St. John Chrysostom in the Prologue for November 15: according to the will of men, God permits them to have what they desire—"because they do not desire the eternal food (the sweetness, as explained elsewhere), and instead attach themselves to this temporal life." This attachment is the heart’s inclination toward the earthly, the familiar, and its enjoyment of it. As a result, the heart remains cold toward the heavenly, which is still unseen, and does not strive for it. And will it ever attain it with such a cold attitude toward it?

Russian source: https://bulgarian-orthodox-church.org/pravoslavie/rus/05/serafim_karul.htm